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Chapter 3: Holding on to Hope

This chapter was a pain in the a-🌸

JUNGKOOK

"Hyung, when you said you'll visit asap, do you know when that'll be?"

"I'm not sure, kook. It may take some time though." He says and my heart drops. Will it be days, week, months?

"Oh..." Is all I can bring myself to say.

"Hey, don't think about that now. I'll get some money together soon, don't worry. I'll-"

Beep beep beep.

"Hello? Hyung?" I call out but I only hear the beep of the disconnected line. I'm sure he'll call again. I wait for what seems like hours, the obnoxious tick of the clock opposite me antagonising me with every move one of its seconds, the tick getting louder and louder. It's almost as if it's laughing at me - stop waiting and give up already - if the clock could talk, it would say something along these lines. I leave the phone, accepting that he won't call again.

Six months into Jimin leaving, I hear a knock on the door, expecting no one in particular. The door swings open, showing an almost unrecognisable version of Jimin: his brown hair now longer than it's ever been, past his ears, dishevelled and unkempt, his arms and legs scrawny and his once-chubby-cheeks now sunken in. My eyebrows furrow at the sight before I throw my entire weight on the slim boy, crushing him with my much larger arms.

We exchange no words as I silently cry over having him in my arms again. He shuffles in my embrace, arms reaching my back and caressing it as he used to when we were little. Solacing and familiar. I rest my hand on his head, his cheek now glued to my chest. He can surely hear my racing heart as I catch a waft of his hair and I'm reminded of a rose garden, sweet and inviting. He doesn't smell the way he used to, like coconuts.

I pull away, tears threatening to leave my eyes as I hit his chest, asking him why he came so late. He lets me abuse his chest, a soft smile on his lips before he grabs my wrists and pulls me into another bone-crushing hug. I've missed this more than I can express but the realistic voice at the back of my mind reminds me that this is only temporary. If I could, I would 'yeet' that annoying voice out the window and then some, but all I can do right now is bury it, push it back and relish at this moment.

Just as I was forgetting that Jimin is only here for the day, he has to leave. Something about missing the last train of the day if he doesn't leave now - ha! If it were up to me, well, it's not so there's no point in dwelling at the thought. Shut up, Jungkook. Just like that, I bid another goodbye, separating from him again. I can't help the gnawing feeling creeping its way to the pit of my stomach, my throat clogging up at the idea that I will never see him again. It took him six months to visit, who knows when he'll visit again, or if he will. But he promises he will. He never breaks his promises.
-
He broke his promise.

Another seven months pass by, he's still not here. Not only is he not coming back, but he also doesn't call anymore. I have lost count of the number of times I've sat in Junsu's office, watching the phone, jolting at every sharp ring only to be disappointed when I don't recognise the voice. I watch and watch the phone, hoping that somehow, it can hear my inner pleads and magically grant me my very simple wish. Just a phone call. But it's a phone - it can't grant any wishes. Only one person can and he seems heedless enough to leave me to dwell in my sorrow, unaware of the hurt he's causing. Or maybe he knows and simply doesn't care.

I forgive you, hyung. I just miss you.

- Five months later -

"Jungkook, I need to talk to you," Junsu approaches me, dragging me away from the round of blackjack I was playing with a couple of the boys. His tone is serious which worries me slightly.