Stained

Chapter 4

Jerk. I look to the side mirror, and what do you know, his gaze is already on me, a challenge marring his expression. He's probably trying to see if I would take it or not.

I make eye contact with the jerk and not once do I shift my gaze away from his as I take one out of Kenzie's palm and put it in my mouth. I give him a tight-lipped smile as I chew.

His lip twitches up as if he's about to smile, and I hate myself for wanting to see it. But he doesn't.

I purse my lips and look at Kenzie who's smiling from ear to ear. I tell myself it's because of her boyfriend, and ignore the voice that tells me her phone isn't out.

But then she frowns. "Not once did you hang out with me last year."

It takes me a moment to wrap my head around her 360 mood change, and when I do, I cock my head. I to—

"I know. I know," she's quick to say. "But like I didn't see you for a whole ass year. I mean we could've hung out together, you could've come to my house or I could've come to yours," she shakes her head. "Doesn't matter, are you back for good then?"

Before she was trying to make me feel jealous about not agreeing to go out with her, but I think she was — is genuinely upset that I didn't, and is now trying to guilt me into coming out with her the next time she asks.

Did she think I wouldn't come out with the jealousy tactic? She knows me better than I thought.

A smile threatens to tug at my lips, but then I suck my lower lip into my mouth, almost swallowing the entire thing as her question sinks in. Am I back for good? Will I be able to stay at this school? I don't know, and I'm bad at lying. The reason I didn't go out with them was because of my social anxiety and because I wasn't well. Fortunately, and unfortunately, my social anxiety has decreased only a little in the past year, and my health is slightly better.

Maybe I could because last year I had to focus on getting better, and revising so I could pass my resits.

I don't want her to think I avoided her on purpose, because I didn't. So averting my gaze from hers, I lie, "I was really busy with all the wedding preparations for my cousin's wedding, and then after that, I was in a college all the way in Huddersfield, and then every other holiday after that me and my family went on a trip. It was all very hectic, I'm sorry." Not giving her a chance to read into my lie, I clasp her hands in mine and hope I'm not lying to both of us as I say, "I'm here now though, so I'll make up for lost time, ok?"

I hope she buys the lie because I never went to no college in Huddersfield last year, this is my first day at my first college, and it's a year later than everyone else because life did me dirty.

I nervously chew on my bottom lip, and when she gives me a tight-lipped smile, it takes everything in me to hold back my sigh. Not as bad at lying as I thought I was.

"I missed you," she pouts. "I was dead ass worried, Yano. I had no way of contacting you because you changed your number, and you never opened any of my messages either. Babe, I swear on my mum's life I screamed when you finally opened my messages."

I feel bad. The only people I ever text is my two best friends and cousin — and that's like once a week if I'm being honest. They're the only ones I trust with my phone number, and I hate giving my phone number out to others. If someone I don't know or don't want to have my number gets it; I change it straight away. The amount of numbers I've had... god I've lost count.

I smile apologetically. "I'm sorry. I'll text you from now on." I feel really really bad.

Her eyebrows rise. "No, you won't. I'm not stupid, all you do is read."