Jaan-E-Mustafa

THIRTY TWO

He smiled caressing my cheeks. I turned around and looked at her. She was stretching her arms with tears in her eyes, asking me to reach her.

"Am-ammi."

Sobbing, I ran towards her in a bone crushing hug. She was my mother. Mine. Being in her arms made me happy and content. So this is how a mother's embrace feels like. This is the best feeling.

"Shhhh... Meri jaan... My strong baby girl... Don't cry. Your ammi is proud of you beta. The bravery, the courage you have put all these years, fighting your father's hatred have made me a proud mother. I am proud to be your mother, Maria."

Her words made me sob more loudly and clutch to her with all my strength.

"Don't cry."

A soft cute voice stopped me from crying making me turn to look who it was. I looked at mama who encouraged me to go towards the little angel standing before me.

She was adorable. Her eyes were dark brown reminding me of Mustafa, my husband. She looked like him, just like his miniature version.

Bending down towards her, I took her in my arms. She was pulling me towards herself.

"Don't cry, mama. My baba won't like it."

She kissed my cheeks one by one, wiping the stains of tears from my cheeks with her small fingers, my heart melting with her cute gesture.

"I am not your mama, baby."

Pulling her cute chubby cheeks I told her, smiling guiltily at her.

"No, you are."

She glared at me making me gasp. She just looked like Mustafa. His eyes crinkle from the sides and appear to look small whenever he glares.

I kept quiet not wanting to break her heart. If she thinks of me as her mother then I'll not argue with her and let it be. Maybe she lost her mother and is thinking of me as her. But wait.... Why am I meeting people who are dead ? Am I dead too ?

No...no... My stomach is flat... Where are my kids ? Where is my baba ? Are they all fine ? Did I die ? Why am I here ? Where is everyone ?

"No you are not dead doll, we all are...
You'll get every answer when you will wake up. Just stay strong as you always have. Have sabr and trust Allah."

Dada jaani advised patting my head and then everything started blurring.The mist started reappearing. Dada jaani disappeared within the mist.

"I am proud that I am a mother of a strong girl. Always remember that your ammi is in your heart, she is within you. Don't forget to tell your Abba that I am angry at him for what he did but it's high time that he corrects his every mistake. And tell him that I love him, I always have."

Ammi smiled, kissing my forehead and disappeared too.

"No.... Ammi.... Don't go.... I need you... Please."

The fog is increasing at much speedy rate and now it's very difficult for me to see. I can only see the little girl cause she is in my arms.

"Tell baba Aina loves him and will miss him."

The little girl who called herself Aina jumped from my arms, waving me goodbye.

"But I don't know who your baba is ?"

"You know who he is."

She again turned as if she remembered something and again kissed my cheeks but it lasted for few seconds.