Jori

The lost and broken guy

“It must be hard, I can’t say I know how you feel, but I can say I am here for you Jori, you don’t know God’s ways, we can’t see beyond things. We are just human.”

“What do I have to do for God to give her back?” I looked at him as if he held all the answers to the world’s problems. He smiled at me and shook his head.

“No J, God doesn’t give us the same angel twice, however he sends people our way to help us develop further and sometimes they have to go for us to be strong for them and ourselves.” I shook my head.

“She died without even looking or holding our baby. I just…I can’t accept that. No.”

“Look bro, I love you like my own blood, you are the truest kind. I’m telling you God brought her into your life for a purpose, we will see how much of an impact she had on you if YOU decide to get up and show us what she did leave with you in your mind and in your heart. Now she’s waiting for you to do something.”

I thought and sighed deeply.

“I want to inter-mitigate and just take a year or so out of uni and build myself up. I can’t complete this unit, I will drop out if I try continue, I’m dying inside.” He nodded and ruffled my hair.

“And that’s the first decision you made. Yes. Take that time out, build yourself up and come back again next year. Do what you feel will help you bereave for Chelle and the baby better, but don’t sit here and crumble and end up killing yourself.”

“The quicker I see them the better so this isn’t-“

“Negative thinking. Don’t do that J. Don’t’ take a step forward to go two steps back. Think about what you say. This is you opportunity to take in some life lessons, someone is going through the exact same thing you are going through and are not tough enough to go through it, they have ended their life as we speak. Every second of every minute of every hour I talk to you and be your friend, I am helping you save your life. And that amount of time you respond to me, listen to me and take my suggestions in and think about what I say you are saving yours too, and one day you will save someone else’s because you will understand their pain so much.”

He was right. It’s scary how much he matured. I was like a kid. I didn’t know what to do.

“Your mum is worried about you, relieve her of her misery and get better for her.”

“Who gets better for Chelle’s family?”

He was silent for a moment

“You do, and her mum. You both do. That is what Chelle would want.” I slowly nodded, agreeing with what he said.

“Look let us go kick ball for abit, and use that to take out the frustration. I believe there are seven stages of grief when a person dies, and we can start with your frustration, and I will be here, and with each one you come across to the end of the stages we will overcome them and you will feel so much better at the end that someone was here grieving with you, because Jori,” he said looking at me. “I bloody miss her too, she was amazing. She was just too much.” I looked at him and got up. It motivated me. He motivated me to get up and do something. I had black days for 30 days. I did nothing but just sat at the first stage of it all.