•✿ ʙᴏᴜɴᴅ ʙʏ ғᴀᴛᴇ ✿•

Chapter Ninteen: "Therapy"

I look over her concerned, wondering what to do. I'm such a worthless daughter I can't even take care of my mother. I think to myself. I feel a little tap on my shoulder, I turn to find Daniel holding up a piece of toast with a cheeky smile on his face. "Go, Aaah." He says but little did I know those words would such an affect me. It's like I'm in a flash or something because everything around me disappears and I'm no longer in the living room but in that dark and dingy basement. There's a man in front of me. His pants are to his ankles. He makes his way towards me stroking his dick inches from my face. "Open your mouth baby girl... and go, Aaah for me," he says as he grabs the back of the neck with one hand pulling me close to his member. I shake my head violently putting my hands in front of me. "N-no! Stop!" I shout out at him as I smack his hand away from me.  

                           ~🌸~

"....Open wide sweet girl, you're about to have a load full." he groans out. Suddenly I'm shaken back to reality and I'm back in the living room. My mother has her hands on my shoulders looking scared, baby Katelyn is wailing, and Dan is standing there with tears streaming down his face with the toast on the floor. I can only assume what happened. "I-I'm sorry..." I say tears just brimming. I shake my head side to side. I get up and push past my mom and run upstairs to my room. I lock the door behind me and look for a place to hide. I walk over to the closet closing it behind me and collapse onto the floor. I pull my knees to my chest and rock myself back and forth. Even though I've left that place I still feel like I'm back there. I feel like Luke is just constantly looming over my shoulder. I feel he's out to get me and my thoughts are no help to me either. I feel as if I can hear the voices of the men that came to the basement whispering their desires and fantasy. Forcing me to relive every moment. I can hear the doctor's voice as he mutters all of the experiments he has planned, but most of all I can hear Luke's voice tormenting me. I can hear him the loudest. It's like he's shouting and pounding in my head and I'm afraid. 

I'm afraid he'll come at any moment to come take me back there. It's ironic honestly. I've spent so long in a dark room inside a small cage, but it was the only thing I found comfort in. When I was in there it was like a relief that there are these bars between me and them. Even though knowing full well that they can get me from in there and that I was trapped. However, I still found comfort being in there. It was like saying 'it's over now, they're gone now'. Right now being in this closet feels like being in that cage.  

Unfortunately, I can't seem to get Luke's voice to quiet down. "This is all you're fault. You caused this, there's no one to blame but yourself... You brought this upon yourself. It's all you." I begin sobbing and shaking my head. "No..." is all I can manage to get out. "You're such a worthless piece of shit...you're disgusting... this world doesn't need a worthless piece of trash like you... Slut. You're a whore. No one needs you. No one will need you. The only thing that can do is offer yourself to the pleasure of men and even then you can't even do that right. You're just a pit stop." I try to cover my ears to stop these harsh words but it's no use. It won't stop... They won't stop... HE won't stop. "You will never get rid of me... I'll always be here... tormenting you for the rest of your life until I find you again. Unless you make me stop. You know what you have to do. End it. Do it." I shake my head "N-no... you can't make me" I answer to no one but myself. "I can and I will. I'll be here until you do. I'll haunt your mind. I will never stop... Do it. You know how to make me stop. You can't even do that right... I'll be here for as long as you live." 

"OK! O-okay...." I stand up and walk out of the closet. I get some paper and with shaky hands, I quickly write a note leaving it on my desk. "You can't think they'll miss you... you mean nothing to them. You. Are. Nothing. They don't love you. You just constantly bring them trouble."  Cruel words Luke whispers from ear to ear. He's right, but is it still wrong to want to say goodbye? It's the least I could do after all. I think to myself. I can feel my breath speed up for what I'm about to. My heart feels like it's about to jump out of my chest. It's best this way. I tell myself comforting myself trying to come to peace with this. They say people who commit suicide won't make it to heaven but it's better this way anyway. I won't have this constant fear and I won't be causing my mom any more trouble. There's no actual hard proof that I'll won't make it into heaven because of this. Except people say it's in the bible. I don't read to the bible but I pray from time to time when I'm actually in trouble and I think I won't make it. Maybe he'll at least let me see grandpa...  I think I can't stop these tears from flowing.

I grab the stool next to the table and put it inside the closet. I get some thin blankets and make a makeshift noose. I tie one end to the pole stick in the closet and make a knot. I grab the other end and tie it around my neck. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I'm sorry I think to myself before jumping off the stool. Just as my feet dangle off the stool I instantly feel the pressure on my neck restricting my breathing. My instinct to breath and live causes hands go straight for my neck trying to pull the Noose from choking me and my feet start kick trying to propel myself up. I end up kicking the stool away from me. I fight the urge to breathe I feel the rush of blood flowing to my head I think I hear a knock but I'm not sure if it's just my heartbeat since everything sounds so muffled. I only come to realize that it's a knock until I hear banging on the door it's only then that I realized that someone was there trying to get in. It's too late, just let me silence these thoughts. Just let me leave in peace I think to myself as everything around me seems to start changing colors. At the very last minute, I see my door slam open and a man is running over to me with my mom right behind him but everything goes black.

Moments later~

After all the crying and screaming my mom has done asking me why I did it. I find myself laying down on the couch with the man who helped me sitting in an armchair across from me. He's a therapist or so he says.  He also says he's doing my mum a favor. The only reason I'm co-operating is because my mom is here and she said she's going to watch over me and make sure nothing happens. The therapist says he isn't going to charge us for the session, he says he's going to try to help me. "Close your eyes and just listen to my voice," he tells me. "Just breath in and out and relax. I'm going to countdown from ten and when I get to the one you will fall asleep and by the time you wake up all of your troubles and everything that's bothering you will no longer trouble you." I honestly find it hard to believe but it seems to give my mom comfort. It probably makes her feel like she's helping. That she's stopping the inevitable. 

I close my eyes and do what the therapist says and breath in and out. My body relaxes and everything in my mind quiets down and I feel as if I'm in a trance. And. just as he said, the therapist counts down from ten and just as he got to one everything turns black and I don't remember a single thing that happened after or before that.

A/N: Hey guys I hope you enjoyed this passage. It's a little longer than the others, it would've been out sooner but just as I was about to publish it, I accidentally deleted it like a dimwit. I was in shock of what had occurred but after I got over the shock I started crying. So much so that I was so depressed for a while even as I was writing this chapter again I was just stressed out and depressed about what happened lol. It's okay though I've managed to rewrite everything in about two days (probably could've written it up in a day but I was so upset about the whole ordeal,) and I think/hopefully it came out better than the last. Everything happens for a reason, right? 😅 Or at least that's what I've been telling myself as I wrote lol. Okay, I'll stop blabbering on now thanks for reading guys. Love ya. 😘