Kentrell Desean Gaulden
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I got out the car with this heavy ass feeling on my chest . At this point I can't even do shit but go along with what the judge said
I ain't gone try no crazy shit cause it's gone make shit worse. But lord why me?
I know I made a lot of mistakes, but I don't deserve this shit. I know for sure I don't especially when I ain't been nothing but good to Ashiah
I cheat on her for her protection and she just fuck me all up. It's like she had this all planned out
fuck it, she did have it planned out ain't no doubt
I walked in the house behind Ashiah and her momma. When I walked in I looked around seeing that nothing changed since I left
All my pictures still on the wall and the decorations still there. I thought she would've changed it up, but nope
She still in love with me, she can act like she ain't all she want. I heard screaming which let me know it was K'Saun
I did a slight smile til the thought of me not seeing him no more popped into my head. I can't believe this my last time seeing him
I love him so fucking much and that's what people fail to realize. K'Saun literally the air I breathe so this killing me
We made it to the living room and I saw this light skin girl on the couch tickling K'Saun. She stopped once she seen us and K'Saun sat up quick
"MOMMY" he yelled hopping off the couch running into Ashiah arms
if only he knew what his momma did
she kissed him and put him down and he looked at me before giving me a confused look
I know he ain't forget who I was cause ain't no way
"mama who he?" he asked pointing to me and my heart dropped , I felt my jaw clench up
look what the fuck she did mane, I really hate Ashiah
"that's yo' daddy boy" she answered him laughing before walking off
What the fuck so funny?
"daddy?" he asked walking over to me slowly with a finger in his mouth. As soon as he got close enough I picked him up
"you don't remember daddy?" he just stared at me, I don't even know what to say
I feel like shit
I kissed his cheek and walked off to the kitchen before sitting down
"juice" he said looking up at me which caused me to get up. I opened the refrigerator seeing Hawaiian Punch so I grabbed it
I poured a little bit in a cup and handed it to him. I just watched as he drunk from the cup
I snapped out my thoughts when my phone started ringing. I pulled it out my pocket just to see it was Kay
Decline
I turned my attention back to K'Saun just to see he was in the refrigerator digging in something
I chuckled as I made my way over to him
"fuck is you digging in?" I asked laughing as I pulled him back, he was messing in some cake
It was all over his hands and face, I thought of me cause I use to do shit like this
I washed his hands and cleaned his face. Hours passed by and it was dark outside
I gotta leave eventually, but I don't wanna leave K'Saun. I'm scared, I don't know what I'm scared of
but I'm scared
Can't nobody say I walked out on him cause I'm being forced to by the law
I hugged and kissed K'Saun one last time before leaving. He cried and I wasn't surprised by that
that made me realize whatever happen he ain't gone forget bout me
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"mane Sherhonda tell him to get his ass up" I heard Ben say before I felt him hit my head
I sat up and took the cover from over my head and looked at him
"nigga keep yo' fucking hands to yourself" I said mugging him and he laughed
"Uh Desean get yo' ass up, you act like you ain't got shit to do" I heard my momma say which caused me to suck my teeth
"you act like you give a fuck" I muttered before I heard mumbling
"give a what?"
she think I'm finna change my answer cause she my momma?
nope .. my respect don't run that deep for her
"a fuck, you act like you give a fuck"
"look, I ain't doing this bullshit with you today. I really ain't so fuck the attitude"
fuck you
"go home ain't nobody forcing you to be here Sherhonda" I said before it got quiet, I stood up and stretched
I just stared at her, she make me wanna —
I walked around the table and around the couch before hearing her mumble and move her phone
"why the fuck you onnat' anyway?" I asked finally realizing she was on live
she got people listening to what's going on in my house
"I can be on what I want on my phone, you just ain't suppose to be in the camera. Move"
okay.
"get out" I simply said with no hesitation and she gave me a crazy look
I hope her ass don't think I'm playing
"Kentrell leave me alone"
"Sherhonda get out, for real mane"
She ended the live and we went back and forth for a while til she left. I ain't got no sympathy for her ass either
Today just ain't that day
"you wrong" three said causing me to look at him
"you can get out too" he laughed and shook his head
I looked at him one last time before leaving out. I need to get away cause my head ain't in the right place
I miss my son ...
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