End of an Era

Truce

I sit here in my room texting him.
My one love that I love oh so dearly , he makes me feel alive he makes me want to stay alive.

Ashton: "Will you to to the dance with me?"
Sent 6:45 PM

Oliver: "the Halloween dance you mean? The one at school?"
Sent 6:46 PM

Ashton : "Yes that one , would you? It's on a Friday you can wear your costume 😌"
Sent 6:47 PM

Oliver: "yeah you dork of course"
Sent 6:48

Ashton: "yay. Okay I'm going now , it's my turn to see Ally goodnight , see you tomorrow at school!"
Sent 6:49
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Junior year:

"Hey!" As I said to him looking at him hanging out with the people I know hate me.

We talked for a bit but everything felt..fake and awkward as if he didn't know me at all anymore.

By the time the bell rang into third period I felt sad.

By the time it was lunch I texted him where we are meeting and he said the same spot where he was in nutrition.

With those people , I knew it was over.
Was it because I didn't keep in touch in summer? Was it because I stress to much? Was I annoying? What was it?

Lunch came and I cried in a stall feeling alone.

I hope I'm not my only friend. I thought to myself. The bell rang I stood up and cleaned my face with the faucet water. I walked into guitar seeing him and I saw further away. Wanting to distance myself because this is who we are now. This who we become.

How can I tell him I still love him? I may have a crush on someone else now in November but I still love him. I can't sit next to him in English class because I get nervous.  I want him back. But he doesnt want me back.

Hearing Truce in the concert made me cry seeing them perform was dreadful because he didn't want to talk about it fully as if we were friends. I cried myself to sleep on the happiest night of my life.

This is who I've become.

Ashton a pathetic fucking loser.