The Son of Ice and Dusk

Where I'm taught how to kill someone (in self defence)

"I'm afraid you'll have to follow me, Ryan," Raegan told me, the day after. "We have important things to do."

I followed her reluctantly. Still, I tried to tell myself I didn't need to talk to Edgar. What I needed was to spend more time with Raegan to prepare for our quest. At least she was my friend. At least I could talk to her without making a fool of myself.

"I know why you're reluctant," Raegan said. "But everybody can do this. If you can do magic, you can do this."

This made me feel a little better. Maybe I wasn't flawed.

"Then why have I never read any human emotion or thought?" I asked.

"Well, you just didn't want to," she grinned. "I wonder how it feels to be as selfless as you are... "

"Stop," I said. It was humiliating. "We don't have time for teasing."

"Right. But I look up to you, you know? And thankfully, you're a quick study. Obviously, I won't only teach you how to read minds, but also how to protect your own. Do you remember the basic rules for learning magic?"

"Magic doesn't necessarily require skill, just patience and practice. And, of course, you have to learn the right Mudras."

"Attaboy! Now, as you know, all you have to do is try to focus your energy into reading my emotions. And then you have to try and try again until you can do it. When you finally make it, you'll try to break down my defence while I'm protecting my thoughts."

I nodded. It sounded easy enough. Well, maybe not easy, but it sounded like something I could learn fast.

Vitaly made it clear that as soon as we were ready, we were supposed to start our quest. Even if it meant learning dark magic in a few days.

I tried at least twenty or thirty times to read Raegan's mind, until I started feeling what I thought were her emotions. She was right about it — it wasn't like hearing her own thoughts. But it wasn't much different either. Not only I felt the emotions, but I could tell why she was feeling them.

However, something struck me as odd. Maybe I wasn't ready after all.

"Are you really thinking that you would like Enchanters to be able to use the internet, so that you can look at videos of puppies?" I asked, confused.

"Hey, it's not like I only have tragic thoughts," she said, slightly embarrassed. "And besides, the first thoughts you're going to read have to be easy ones."

Okay, I thought, maybe she doesn't even know, but she's already protecting her mind. From the sad thoughts.

I had to break her defences and show how good I could be at mind reading if I really wanted to. I hoped she wouldn't start hating me if I did. When I tried again, I got hold of the hidden emotions. All the sadness and the rage she felt, even the guilt for not being able to move on from wanting to avenge her parents. But also the calm, confident feeling she felt when she understood that, whatever this quest would bring, it would make her powerful enough to get her close to her vengeance.

"I don't know if you've been trying to hide these feelings on purpose, to fool me," I grinned. "But it didn't work."

"That's impressive," she pondered. "If you can understand when people unconsciously hide their emotions, you are probably already able to do that with your own emotions as well. Let's tell Malinov about your skills."

When we found Vitaly and Jeff, I was a little jealous to notice how good Jeff was getting. True, I had learnt fast too, but it would take years before I became as good as my friend, if it was even likely to happen.