Rose Valley Shenanigans

Candlelight

The flame burst up from the wick with a muttered word. Jan smiled, sitting down on the couch and putting down his scythe beside him. He sighed. "Wat een dag, man... If I hear one more request to let down that goddamn barrier on the infirmary," he told no-one in particular. There were quite a few options: the birds outside, the cat trying to get to those birds, or the fish in the aquarium, to name a few. It was getting late, slowly dipping the room into twilight apart from the candlelight's radius. It danced tenderly.

It caught Jan's attention when it jumped due to a slight gust. It was a really simple candle, white beeswax, yet there was beauty in the simplicity; the straight, slightly tapered surface, a canvas for the light to dance on. The lake of melted wax on the top, slowly deepening, accented by an island of charred wick. It supported the flame, a beautiful violet slowly changing into near-white, flowing into yellow, then orange at the very tip.

Jan sighed, leaning forward to watch it. It quivered with his breath, dancing forward, then slowly backwards, then stopping. Dance, stop. Dance, stop. Dance, stop.
If only he could hold his breath, he would be able to study it, but the monotone of his bionic innards never stopped. Dance, stop. Dance, stop. In, out. In, out. He huffed to break the pattern, nearly blowing out the candle. It jumped and went small for a moment, then grew again, continuing the sequence.

In, out. In, out. Negative pressure, positive pressure. Negative pressure, positive pressure.

The sensation of the collar around his neck, airtight, suddenly came to him. It was soft rubber, hugging his skin. It marked him helpless, just as helpless as a leashed puppy. He couldn't move, laid on the table, covered by a blanket. It was warm in the iron coffin, but his head was cold. He couldn't change a thing about it if he even tried.

The pain returned with every breath. Pain, rest. Pain, rest. Negative pressure, positive pressure.

Jan rubbed his face, standing up to grab a glass of water, but the sensation didn't leave him. He shivered, trailing his hand down to his neck. He could swear he was back in the iron lung, feeling the collar expand and contract every breath the machine took for him. His hands shook as he rubbed his face again. The monotone continued, slightly faster this time. His mechanical parts were picking up on his stress. There was no mistaking it, this feeling of helplessness and restriction. He balled a fist. "No," he told himself, "I am not there. Niet meer, godverdomme."

The feeling didn't care. In, out. In, out.

"Are you okay?" James peeked out from the bedroom door, looking sleepy. Seeing his husband pale and stressed out- and worse, not answering his question- he stepped out, walking over to wrap his arms around Jan. "Hey, are you okay?" he repeated, concerned.

"I'm okay," Jan nodded, closing his eyes. "I just... I'm having a bad feeling," he tried to explain.

"About what?" The smaller man asked, reaching up to tenderly put a hand to Jan's cheek.

"Nothing, it's just there," Jan rubbed his throat again in an attempt to break the sensation, but before he could wrap his hand around his neck James' hand found it.

"Come sit down with me," James gently pulled him to the couch, blowing out the candle and turning on the lights. He told Jan to lay down, grabbed his fluffiest wool throw and laid down next to his husband, wrapping them in the blanket.

Jan muttered something about dinner, but James softly kissed his cheek, then his lips. "I have you, my goose," he told him. "My silly goose." He pulled himself closer to his better half, stroking his cheeks, his shoulders, gently pecking his husband meanwhile. "Can you tell me what's bothering you?"

"I know it's not real," Jan admitted with frustration, "but I feel like I'm in the iron lung."

James hummed, stroking the cyborg's dirty blond locks from his face. "Well, are you?"

"No." Jan answered decisively.

"Then there's nothing to be afraid of, is there?"

Jan blinked a few times at that. "... I guess not," he hummed. "I still feel it though..."

"That's okay," James smiled an assuring smile, resting his forehead against his husband's. "As long as you know it's not real." he began to hum, a soft little song he knew.

"With my lady, Greensleeves..." Jan muttered in response after a few minutes, nuzzling James. He was smiling now, seeming to have calmed down. "I love you," he told the smaller man.

James smiled. "I love you too," he returned, snuggling closer to his husband and pulling one arm loose to hug him. He sighed, closing his eyes. "I love you to the human world and back again," he told his husband.

"I love you to the sun and down again and to the stars and back again," Jan returned, smiling. In, out, went his mechanics, but it bothered him no more. All he focused on now, was this fluffy feeling, and it was wonderful.