the silence

thirty-five.

    the orchestra hadn't yet started playing, but they were sitting quietly in their chairs. everyone's eyes turned to eddy as he walked in and he kept his own glued to the floor. making eye contact with someone was bound to make him break down and he couldn't handle doing that in front of every single one of his peers and the conductor. he made his way to his chair and sat down without saying a word.

    the conductor said nothing. he'd been watching brett and eddy's relationship blossom over the months and liked both of them. he'd been told that brett was hospitalized and wasn't about to make eddy's day worse. not this time. he cleared his throat and began their rehearsal.

    brett's day was not going much better. he'd been woken up at 7 a.m. and forced to go to breakfast, where he didn't eat and didn't talk to anyone. they'd finally given him his clothes and he dressed himself in gray sweatpants and one of eddy's black jumpers, pulling the sleeves over his hands and keeping them there. his lack of interaction with the other patients and participation in group therapy did not please the staff, but they weren't about to push him on his first day.

it was lunchtime that made his day go from bad to absolutely terrible.

in the facility, there were different units for different reasons for being there. there were people like brett, who were only there for a week or so, but there were also units of people who stayed there for months or even years. all of the units ate lunch in the same cafeteria, but they weren't allowed to speak to each other.

as he had at breakfast, brett sat down by himself. the only difference this time was that he'd decided to eat something. he had gotten a banana and began munching on it quietly, staring out the large window in the room. the view was his favorite part and he felt mildly okay for the first time since before eddy had found him on the floor.

the feeling was only temporary. brett could feel someone staring at him and glanced around, his eyes widening as he found the culprit standing in line with a group from another unit.

it was mae.

to say she looked horrible would be an understatement. it was clear that she'd been on drugs and the anger on her face was visible from across the cafeteria, her bony chest heaving and her eyes filled with rage. brett clenched his teeth and pulled his knees to his chest, praying that she would just stay away from him and that she'd look away if he did.

she did not. she got her food and walked to her table, sitting her tray down in an uncharacteristic, calm manner. her eyes had not left brett, nearly burning holes in the top of his head as she stared him down for the entirety of their meal.

brett felt safe whenever she sat down, hoping that she'd stay that way. the lack of a clock in the room made lunch feel endless and she kept her eyes glued to him the entire time, her dark irises seething with rage. she soon got up to throw away her tray and waltzed over to brett, slamming her hands down on his table and making the whole room go quiet.

"you!" she shouted, her face inches from his. two staff members began quickly making their way over, but they were unable to reach the table before she pushed brett onto the floor and her hands wrapped around his small neck and squeezed hard. he struggled to breathe as the staff pulled her off of him, leaving him on the floor.

    two nurses ran over to him and helped him up immediately, asking him way too many questions that his overwhelmed brain couldn't even begin to comprehend. it was only seconds before he passed out, his small body going limp in their arms.

;

brett was excused from the rest of the day's activities and brought back to his room, where he laid in still silence for an hour until he woke up. a strange soreness remained in his throat and he sniffled, wrapping the blanket tighter around his shoulders.

at 5 p.m., a woman walked into brett's room after knocking on the door softly.

    "brett?"

"huh," he muttered, suspicious of the strange smile on her face.

    "you've got a phone call, hon."

    brett scrambled out of bed faster than he ever had, following the woman down the long hallway with his arms crossed impatiently. the phones were lined up on the wall and she led him to one labeled #4517. he didn't know what it meant, but he didn't care. three other patients were on phones with different numbers.

"wait until it rings and you can pick up," she said kindly. brett nodded with anticipation.

    the phone rang a minute after she walked away and he yanked it off the wall, holding it to his ear.

    "hello?" he said nervously. eddy's deep voice filled his ear and flooded his body with relief.

"hey, baby."