Tick tock

*~28~*

"What do you think you're doing?
You're supposed to be resting."
Goddammit, I just sound like a worried mom now.

"What? No, I'm fine, Nat."
She muttered.
Jamie grabbed onto my arm and rested her head on my shoulder.
If there was another
Paranormal Activity movie coming out she could definitely win a roll.
"Hey, Nat?"
She pulls me into a hug rather abruptly.

I gulp, "Yeah?"
I grab onto her waist and pull her away just enough to face her.
She smiles, grabbing one of my hands and pulling it up to her cheek.

Dude, I'm full on getting a heart attack! She's so fucking cute!

"You're really... really cute."
Jamie giggles, her big eyes pouring into my own.

"Um... thank you."
I could literally feel my cheeks heat up as my heart does what feels like a thousand backflips.

She's sick, she doesn't know what she's saying.
She's sick, she doesn't know what she's
saying.
She's sick, she doesn't know what she's say—

"But I like you a lot."
She quickly looks away.
Oh my god.
Full on gay panic, Jesus HALP!

She doesn't know what she's saying, she doesn't like you.
You... you don't want this, stop feeling this way!

"You make me, like, really happy!
I kinda just wanna be with you all the time but I don't know."
Her words become more and more slurred.
Jamie's voice being fully submerged and stuck in her own throat.
I could practically see as she begins to slowly shut off under the sickness.
Her eyes becoming heavier and leaving mine; her head drooping downwards.

I let out a little sigh.
The oh so wholesome moment slipping out of my grasp like sand and leaving me back to where I originally started.
Just me and a very sick,
very close friend.

"C'mon, beautiful, let's get you to bed."
A small, genuine frown paints my lips.

"I'm not beautiful, you are!"
Jamie giggles as we walk through the halls and towards her bed.

I roll my eyes, "Whatever you say."

After the stressful ten minutes of getting Jamie to her bed and making her stay there I'm left on the front porch of the house.
The coldness biting at my face and making me painfully numb...
but I didn't care.

Did she actually fucking mean what she said?
You sick bitch! Of course she didn't!
She's half fucking dead!
A heavy weight
lays upon my heart,
compressing tears to flow freely from my eyes.
And soon I seemed to realize that I was left having a full on mental breakdown on the front porch.
I wrap my arms around my knees and hide my tear stained face from the world.
Slipping deeper into Jamie's sweater and farther away from reality.
I wish I could just
disappear in it.

WHY THE FUCK DO I FEEL THIS WAY?!

Overwhelming thoughts that swarmed around in my head seemed to keep me from realizing the painful static that crawled its way into my mind.
"Shit. Shit. Shit!"
A certain ringing sound hit me like a fucking bus, tuning out the world and crushing my head like a rock being thrown at it.
"STOP IT!"

I quickly get to my feet with no hesitation, trying to maneuver my way back to the doors of the run-down cottage but my eyes saying otherwise;
the world around me became extremely fuzzy and there seemed to be duplicates of almost everything.

My vision tries to focus and every time it did... I seemed to regret it.
The only things I would see were trees, totally drained of colour like being stuck in a black and white movie.

Kill, kill, kill.

The thoughts of hurting, driving a knife through Jamie's chest entered my mind.
Unknowingly, my fingers began to twitch, trying to search for the smoothness of a knife's handle.
"Just... just stop..."
I shut my eyes tightly, letting each and every excruciating sound and thought submerge me.

"Natalie? What's wrong?
Are you okay?"
My eyes snap open, Jamie had her hands firmly on my shoulders, her face held deep concern yet the look of absolute exhaustion.
The thought of wrapping my hands around her frail neck and squeezing tightly seemed to take over.

"Hm? Oh yeah... I'm... I'm fine."
I glance around to see that I'm back in the cursed living room of the cabin.
She lets out a sigh of relief, leaning over and resting her forehead on my shoulder.

"Thank god. I woke up and I felt much more better... but I couldn't find you.
I heard you screaming in the woods so I followed the sound and saw you collapsed on the grass crying."
She tightened her grip around me.
"I took you inside.
Nat, you were in the forest for an hour! I was so fucking worried!"
Her voice was shaking.

Was this how she always felt?
Constantly in pain?
Was I always the cause of it?
She was fine until she met me.
Now she's just... she's just hurt now.
She's exhausted because of me and she'll always be this way because of me.
What the hell have I done?!
She was normal without me and now... I have to fix this... but how?

The only way she could not technically be in pain is if she's... dead.

A faint chuckle escapes my lips.

Gurl, what the fuck are you talking about? This isn't you!—

The only way she can be free is if she dies. Why the hell haven't I thought about this sooner!
She can finally be happy if I just do it!
I am a killer... this... this is what I'm supposed to do after all.

I have to kill Jamie.