Grease Monkey | shawnmendes

seven

I sniffled and snotted as I laid on my bed. I was never getting back to New York at this rate. I missed Kyle and Tessa more than ever. I picked up my phone to call Tessa, but just as I began to dial her number, my phone rang. It was Stacey, a distant friend of mine from New York. We'd known each other since grade school and she was a nice girl, but we'd never been best friends so I couldn't figure out why she'd be calling me.

"Hello?" I tried to make my voice sound normal and not as if it was ridden with pathetic sobs.

"Kenna! Hi, it's Stacey! How's Arkansas?" She sounded so genuine and I wished I would have been closer to her.

"Hey Stacey! It's great!" I lied. "How's home?"

"Cold and dramatic, as always. You're lucky to have been able to get out of here and have a fresh start somewhere completely new! I'm jealous!" She said and I knew she was smiling on the other end.

"Yeah it is quite different, but I am ready to visit! I miss everyone!" I laughed half-heartedly, wondering why she'd even called.

"Everyone misses you! But Ken, I didn't call to make small talk. I'm sure you figured that much." She hesitated.

"Well why'd you call, Stacey?" I urged her on.

"Rumor has it that you're trying to come back up here and get back with Kyle - to stay here for good. Don't Kenna. Stay where you are. Kyle isn't worth your time or worries. Arkansas has to be better than things here for you." She sounded concerned.

"Stacey I need to know what that means."

"Kyle and Tessa are dating - serious dating. They're purposely hiding it from you. Tessa talks badly about you constantly. Neither of them want you here. I just wanted you to know so you wouldn't come all the way up here to just be heartbroken and look like a fool. They were planning on waiting until you arrived to tell you - which is rather shitty in my opinion." She blurted it all out, making my head spin.

"Are you sure? I just - this can't be true!" I stuttered.

"I'm sorry Kenna. I know we were never really close, but I didn't want to see you hurt and embarrassed in front of everyone. You're a sweet girl. No one deserves this, but especially not you. If you need anything at all, please please call me okay?" I nodded in response to her and dropped the phone, collapsing on my bed into a mess of sobs and snot. Not only did I lose Shawn today, but I lost Kyle and Tessa, too. Was anyone even on my side anymore? And when did my life turn to utter shit?

++

The weekend passed slowly and I spent it alone in my room. My parents tried to check on me. I told them about Kyle and Tessa so they tried to comfort me, but when I wouldn't have it, they left me to my tears. They didn't object when I skipped school on Monday, either.

While locked in my room I thought about Shawn and Stacey's words. Back in New York I was a good girl. I loved everyone and everyone loved me. I was sweet and I opened up easily. My parents and I had a great relationship and I loved everything about life. Since the move, I'd become a completely different person.

After my parents took me away from all I'd ever known, I'd developed a deep anger for them. After Kyle breaking up with me, I put up walls. I decided that I was the only one who had my best interests at heart, so I quickly became selfish. I didn't want to hurt anymore so I didn't want to let anyone see the real me. I'd tried to hide myself to avoid being hurt. As I thought about life since Arkansas, I could only come up with one person who'd looked past my walls and flaws and had seen the real me. One person who'd accepted that part of me. One person who'd actually cared. One person who made me feel like myself again. And that person was Shawn.

I laid in my bed, watching TV, wishing life would magically fix itself. It was 10am here, meaning it was lunch time in New York and that Stacey would be on her lunch break. I decided to give her a call. I needed to talk to someone and she was the only person I had at the moment.

She picked up after two rings and was her usual, happy self. We talked about her day and my weekend. She comforted me, but I decided I needed her advice. I had to get my best friend back and since I apparently sucked at keeping friends, I needed a few words of wisdom. I told her all about Shawn and how he'd helped me from the start. I told her about our fight and how I missed his company.

"Sounds like you two have something special. Tell him exactly what you've just told me - how you changed with the move, but he'd helped you through it. Tell him you care about your friendship." She encouraged and I decided she was right.

"Thank you, Stacey! You're a great friend!" I hung up with her and pulled on some decent clothes. School was almost out and it was time to get my best friend back. I pulled my hair into a bun and headed for the shop.