Love between two worlds

Fearful...

Dee POV

I have no words for myself right now

Laying here seeing Ryan in this hospital bed is heartbreaking knowing how much I love this women

I had shifted my weight on Ryan as I laid wrapped my arms around her fragile body

"Hey you" Ryan said but her voice was all raspy and deep
"Hey" I said attempting to kiss her neck but I noticed hand marks around her neck

"What happened" I asked more concerned and I'm starting to think the doctor lied to me about Ryan's condition, he simply stated that she was involved with an car accident and she was in ICU for the time being

"Do you remember anything from the accident?" I asked her

"What accid-.. oh no not really" she said very hesitant as her eyes glazed every corner of the room

Growing up in the hood I learned how to lie and steal and many other useful talents in life that I can tell Ryan is fucking lying

"What really happened Ryan?" I asked piercing her soul with my eyes

As I asked her that question it seemed like that was a trigger for her

She busted out crying and grabbing on my clothing

"Ryan baby, whatever happened I'm here now, baby please don't cry, Im here please stop crying baby" I said trying to comfort her but it only made her cry harder

Not knowing the words to help her in this situation I did what I do best

I got under the covers with her, gave her the longest hug while she soaked my shirt with her tears and anybody that knows me, know I HATE OTHER PEOPLES TEARS ON ME! But for Ryan I'd do anything for this women, no matter how far I truly love her

She had calmed down a bit but there was still little sobs and snorkels that escaped her trembling mouth

I rubbed her back continuously and that seemed to sooth her in a good way

Once there was no more noise I unwrapped my arms from around her and stared into her beautiful face, man that face I could never get tired of

"Baby?" I asked because she was almost asleep by now

"Hm.." she said and opened her eyes a bit to peek at me

"Are you okay now?" I asked in the most gentle way because I NEED! To know what happened and how ever way it comes it, somebody is going to tell me what happened!

"Yes baby, I just wanna say I'm so sorry for treating you like that at work, I know I can be emotionless at times but it's the way I show love, tough love because that's all I was raised around so please forgive me and I will change baby" Ryan said to me silently crying as she looked at me with those eyes, man! Those eyes!

"Baby I completely understand but before we go any farther, I need to know what is going one because I can't keep trying to love you and I don't know who I'm loving, please baby" I said because from the beginning Ryan has always showed mixed emotions towards me but the mystery about her is what draws me in like a fly, flying to a Venus flytrap

"Please don't think differently about me baby" She said in a baby voice but I need to know.

"Ryan, I love you okay, nothing can ever change my mind about you baby, you mean so much to me if never thought I can find this type of love before finding you, please know that" I said and gave a little kiss on her swollen lip

"Okay remember my ex Red the one I let stay with us for those few days, we'll wehave deep history, like deep deep. So the other morning we go into an argument and I was avoiding you by not coming home so i stayed at the office to get extra work in and I decided to leave at 2 something in the morning" Ryan took deep breathes as mines was getting caught in my throat, fearful of the next words that would find their way out her mouth

She shifted her position, and I could tell this is going to be very hard for her to do.

"So walking out the building I wasn't with security and I really wanted to come home to you..." Ryan trailer off saying

"And I was pulled by people behind the dumpster, and then Red showed up and was stating that she..." Ryan stopped talking and at that moment my heart broke..

I wasn't there for her when she needed me

And I was stuck on her treating me a certain way, but I wasn't there..

She looked in my eyes one last time and bursted out crying again, and as last time she cradled her way into my arms as I rubbed big circles on her back hoping to calm her nerves

I feel like a bag of shit right now, I can't believe this shit

Ryan slowed her crying again and looked back into my eyes, leaned forward and kissed me so passionately all my bad thoughts suddenly ran away from me like it was a race

When she pulled away it seemed like she was ready to talk again

"I've been pregnant 3 times and they we're her kids, but each time after the first miscarriage she raped me over and over, she had beaten me with just about anything you can think of, and I dealt with that for 5 years straight....and that's what happened the other day, she had to take control and had to have power over me one last time.. she couldn't stand the thought of me with someone else and I'm so glad you weren't there baby" Ryan said breaking down again and I heard her muffled cries which broke my heart

It really took a huge weight off my shoulder to know she doesn't hold this against me, but I can relate to her pain

Ryan will know my story one day but we both need to take time to make sure she's healed before going down that long road.

We had laid on each other for what seems like hours making our imaginations into reality

We kissed every now and then but every single time I felt fire works beneath the surface of my skin

I couldn't help but think..

Damn, I love this women...

Alright so I really need y'all to run my followers up cause I'm releasing some good ass books that I have so many ideas for!

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