Never Be The Same {SCOROSE}

Chapter 30 - Rose

When Scorpius entered the room, I felt suddenly conscious of the state I was in. Sweat had plastered my hair to my neck and forehead. I probably looked like a haggard mess… but a glance down at the small baby in my arms made me not mind so much.

The blond boy approached the bed hesitantly, unsure of what to say or do. I smiled softly, and held out my daughter - our daughter - to him.

Scorpius swallowed. “I… I’m not really sure how to… that is… I’m rather afraid I’d break her.”

He looked so nervous that I couldn’t help but laugh. “Don’t be silly… Come here.” He came closer, and I signaled for him to sit on the bed. Once he was firmly sitting, I showed him the proper way to support the head and neck and such, then passed the baby into his arms. “Meet Willow Jade Malfoy,” I said with a smile.

I had spent a lot of time debating whose last name to give our child, ultimately deciding on Scorpius’ over my own. If I’d made her a Granger-Weasley, people would have thought I was trying to hide the identity of her father. I figured I might as well be straightforward about it - the public would get over the whole thing much quicker this way. 

Looking at Scorpius as he held our daughter, I smiled. Despite his nerves, the picture was inexplicably right somehow. There had been times over the last few months when I had wavered over whether I really wanted him to be involved in me and my daughter’s lives from this point on, but I knew in that moment that a future without Scorpius Malfoy in it was absolutely unthinkable.

• • •

One month later

When the doorbell rang, there was no preventing the relieved sigh that escaped my lips. I hadn’t slept a wink all night, and although it was only ten o’clock in the morning I was thoroughly exhausted. 

Willow, after hours of crying and two diaper changes, was finally resting quietly against my shoulder, and I’d been able to sit down and eat a quick breakfast. Now, though, I would get some real relief. I placed my daughter in the pack and play, kissed her on the forehead, and went to get the door. 

Scorpius was leaning against the doorframe, a casual grin playing across his lips. “G’morning, Rosie. You look lovely today.”

I bit my lip at the compliment. I didn’t want him to do this. We weren’t like that anymore; we didn’t need any bothersome feelings getting in the way of things. I could only hope that he would end his flirtations before I had to make him, and in the process destroy the tentative friendship that had manifested between us these last few weeks.

“Thanks,” I said, hoping to communicate something of what was going through my head with my bland tone, “but that’s walking the line of straight up lying to me. You know as well as I do that I look like hell.”

The blond boy shook his head. “I’ve never seen you look anything less than beautiful, Rose.”

I sighed. “Do come in.”

Scorpius stepped inside, brushing against me as he did, and the look in his eyes frightened me for a moment. Not because it was bad in any way, but because I could tell from his expression that he still had feelings for me, and for a minute I thought he might do something unbearably stupid like try to kiss me. 

The moment passed, but as he strode into the family room to see Willow I stood frozen for a second or two. Not because I didn’t want him to kiss me, but because I’d suddenly realized that I did, and that was not a feeling I wanted to deal with ever again.

Shaking off the momentary start, I followed Scorpius into the room, where I found him already engrossed in his daughter. It was almost unbearably cute how much he adored her. Sometimes I thought I could walk out of the house and come back three days later, and they wouldn’t even notice I’d been gone. Honestly, I sometimes felt like a third wheel when he was here. He just loved her that much.

The blond boy glanced up at me. “You should try to get some sleep.”

“I’m alright,” I protested, “I-”

“You’re literally radiating sleep deprivation, darling. Isn’t the whole purpose of my coming here for you to have a respite? Go to sleep, Rose. We’ll be fine down here.”

“But-”

“Please.”

I sighed. “Fine. Just don’t let me-”

“I’ll wake you up before I leave, alright?”

I crossed my arms. “That’s too long. Wake me up after an hour. If you don't, I'll hex you."

Scorpius huffed, then turned to Willow. "D'you hear that, Lo? Mummy's threatening me."

I smiled, shook my head, and headed up the stairs, where hopefully I would find some peaceful rest.

When Scorpius woke me, I could tell that it had been far more than an hour. The clock on my nightstand told me so. I scowled at him. "You let me sleep for far too long."

"Relax, darling, you needed it. It's only five o'clock. I don't think you had anything of urgency to do today, so why does it matter?"

I chewed on my lip. He had called me darling again. "Scorpius-"

"Oh, and I was thinking we should go out tonight. It's been awhile since you've gotten out, yeah? Your mum can watch Willow for a couple of hours…"

"Scorpius!"

He frowned. "What's the matter, Rosie?"

I took a deep breath. "You're losing sight of what you're doing here."

The blond boy looked confused. "What on earth do you mean?"

"I mean, you're here to help out with Willow. You're here for her, not for me. Not to flirt with me and compliment me and call me darling when you know very well that I don't want you to-"

"Don't you?" There was honest curiosity in his voice - and there was a challenge.

I swallowed. He was right, of course. He was always right. But it didn't matter if I did want it, because becoming involved with Scorpius Malfoy again was not a sensible option and never would be. "No. And we aren't going out tonight, or ever. If you can't accept that-"

"I accepted it a long time ago, Rose, and I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable. I'll watch myself more carefully in the future." 

His voice was like ice, and it cut me. As he turned to walk out, my resolve broke. "Scorpius-" I started uncertainly.

He whirled around. "What?" he snapped, clearly upset.

"I- I didn't mean any of that."

Scorpius stared at me for a moment, and I watched the anger melt off his face, replaced by an unreadable emotion. Then, before I knew what was happening, his lips were on mine, and I did something incredibly stupid - I kissed him back.