Never Be The Same {SCOROSE}

Chapter 27 - Scorpius

I stumbled back from my friend, stunned.

Albus was staring at me, fear obvious in his eyes. “I shouldn’t have done that… I should go…”

“No!” I grabbed his shoulder to make sure he wouldn’t bolt. “I’m not angry, Al. I’m not going to freak out. Please don’t run away.”

He shook his head and wrenched free from my grasp. “I’m sorry.” He disapparated before I could say another word.

It was hard to believe that had been a whole week ago - it was all I’d been able to think about ever since. How much had Albus suffered because of me? How many times had he lain in bed at night and wondered when I’d be done with my latest fling? How much must he have hated listening to me go on about Rose for hours at a time? 

How could I have been so absorbed in myself that I never noticed the misery of my best friend? I was apparently an unbelievably shitty person. And now…

“Scorpius? May I come in?”

I jumped at the sudden voice. It was my dad. “Yeah, sure.”

My father entered the room, and asked with his eyes if he could sit down. I inclined my head slightly, and he placed himself next to me on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy since I arrived. I haven’t had time to ask about what happened.”

“How did you know something happened?”

Dad smiled, but it was sad. “I raised you, Scorpius. You think I can’t tell when something’s not right?” 

I laughed dryly. “I forget how brilliant you are sometimes.”

“Not brilliant; just observant.” I didn’t respond, and he spoke again. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I had to ask. It kills me to see you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Sad. Lonely. Beating yourself up over something that probably isn’t your fault in the least.”

I stared at my feet. “I took Albus up to the Eiffel Tower last Friday night, and he…” I wasn’t sure how to say it.

“He told you how he feels?”

My head jerked up. “You knew?”

Dad nodded. “I knew a long time ago… It wasn’t hard to see. But it’s never as obvious to the person involved as it is to those watching. And like I said, I’m observant.”

“I feel so stupid… I hate that I never figured it out. It tortures me to think of how much I must have hurt him.”

“Have you talked to him about all that?”

I shook my head. “He ran away before I could. I tried to tell him that it was okay, but he wouldn’t listen. He was scared and, well, tipsy. I wish he would have stayed.”

My father seemed to be thinking for a moment, then he said, “Albus is in the downstairs parlour. He wants to talk to you.”

I stared at him. “What? You’re just telling me this now?”

“I wanted to be sure that you weren’t angry or anything. I didn’t think you were, but… I didn’t want to send you down to him if it was just going to make things worse.”

I got up to go to my friend, but paused in the doorway. “Dad?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks.”

He smiled. “I’m always happy to be of service.”

Albus was pacing the length of the room, but stopped when I walked in. He seemed uncertain of what to do now that I was here. I didn’t let the hesitation last - I hugged him. I felt my best friend let out a sigh of relief, and after a while I pulled back. 

“Are you okay?” I asked.

My friend nodded, although his eyes made me uncertain of whether he really was. “I- I’m sorry I ran the other night. I was… overthinking.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you decided to come back.”

Al grinned sheepishly. “To tell you the truth, I almost didn’t. But Lily was quite insistent, and I do hate to disappoint my little sister.”

“I must say I’m rather fond of that sister of yours,” I chuckled as we sat down on the sofa (which had probably been residing in this room for a few hundred years.)

“Oh, you only say that because she helped set you up with Rose.”

I frowned, and tilted my head uncertainly. “Al, how crazy did I drive you? With all my promiscuity and Rose-obsessing…”

He smiled, but it was melancholy. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault that I was pining away over someone who didn’t like me that way.”

Sighing, I ran my hand over my face. “Merlin, Al, I’m sorry. I should have payed more attention…”

Al shook his head. “It wasn’t the fact that you didn’t notice that I minded. The thing that pained me the most was never what you did to me; it was always what you did to yourself. As much as it hurts to be pathetically, unrequitedly in love, it hurts a thousand times more to watch the person you love destroy themselves over and over again. And I tried to be there for you and I tried to help you but sometimes I felt like I couldn’t possibly be enough and I was going to fail you and, well, thinking you’ve failed the person you love? - that’s what hurts the most.”

I sighed, wondering if I could ever possibly make things up to my best friend for all the pain I had caused him. “I was so selfish… I never once stopped to think about how what I was doing might affect you or anyone else around me. All I cared about was finding an easy escape from the pain. Salazar… I’m a real peice of shit, aren’t I?”

“No, you’re not. Well, maybe you are, but no more than any other human being.”

I rolled my eyes. “Gee, thanks, Al.”

“That was supposed to be encouraging. Besides, I’m rather fond of your shittiness.”

Laughing, I threw my arm over his shoulder. “I love you,” I said.

Albus grinned. “I love you too, you little shit.” 

I wacked him playfully, then had a thought. “Al, do you remember that time when I walked in on you-”

My best friend flushed scarlet. “Do you really want to go there?”

I chuckled. “Honestly, I sort of do. So, I turn you on, eh?”

Al groaned, and I cracked up. This conversation was about to get very interesting.