SELENELION

1- Veronica

"Floor is crackling cold
She took my heart, I think she took my soul"

My subconscious mind is still able to recognize the song playing; Closer by Kings of Leon. As my consciousness slowly returns, I realize I must've fallen asleep with my headphones in, again. I start to sing the lyrics before I've even managed to open my eyes.

"With the moon I run
Far from the carnage of the fiery sun"

I fling myself out of bed as the song continues:

"Driven by the strangle of vein
Showing no mercy I'd do it again"

At this rate, I'll go deaf before I'm senile. Music has always helped me fall asleep, nowadays it's the only thing that works. It's also better to wake up to than any alarm clock could ever be.

"Open up your eyes
You keep on crying
Baby I'll bleed you dry"

Rubbing my eyes, I grab the phone on my nightstand table and check the time, 7:30 am. Checking my messages, I see that I have none from Vinny. A shiver runs up my spine suddenly as a feeling of dread washes over me, one becoming increasingly common.

"Skies are blinking at me
I see a storm bubbling up from the sea"

I convince myself he's still sleeping, weaving out thoughts of paranoia before they escalate. I notice I have two new messages: one from Erin, congratulating me on making it to senior year and enthusiastic about being one step closer to leaving. The other message is from Amanda, asking if I need a ride on the first day.

Vinny said he'd drive us and he's usually good at staying true to his word, in that regard he's always felt older to me. To call Vinny my closest friend would be an understatement. He was more than that, weaved into every aspect of my life since I was ten years old. If I'm being honest, he's the reason I made it to my senior year intact. Although everything about this year feels different, heavy. Vinny used to miss school a lot sophomore year, even contemplated dropping out, but last year he began attending regularly with me. I'm almost certain the only reason he makes an effort to attend is for me. He works everyday, often late into the night. But even if he wasn't, he'd be up late just the same. We both had a habit of staying up until subconscious thoughts seeped into reality, there was something enchanting about the night. Masks deteriorated under the moonlight, illuminating the soul. Although lately, I welcome sleep with open arms, it's rarity is maddening. Sometimes, I truly feel like a nuisance in Vinny's life. Another task to add to his incredulously long list of responsibilities. He's been driving me to and from school since before his ability to legally drive. I've never once had to ask him. As always, he took it upon himself, and, as often as I have these worries, he's never made me feel like a burden.

Most of Vinny's "work" life is private, he keeps me at arms length from what he gets involved in. They say what's done in the dark is always brought to light. Usually after its already tainted everything in its path. There had been many mornings where Vinny would drop me off at school and then disappear for days on end. On those days I never knew where he went. But there's a darkness that follows him, its depth drowns me and sometimes I struggle to breathe. I think it follows me too.

Staring mindlessly at my closet, I find myself waiting for motivation to strike. At least enough to get me through the day. "Nica, hurry up and come down for breakfast. Please, don't be late on your first day." I hear my mother say from outside my bedroom door, snapping me out of my trance. My name is Veronica, but very few people call me by my full name. My mom has always called me Nica, sometimes my siblings do as well. Scanning my closet once more, I manage to put an outfit together. Grabbing the pink sweater my grandmother had knitted for me as a Christmas gift, four years ago. It was comforting and reminded me of how much I missed her. She'd moved back to her hometown in Albania, I hadn't seen her in over nine months. Finally heading downstairs, I debate whether or not to check on Vinny. He's lived two doors away from me for the last decade, it wouldn't be the first time I've had to get him up.