Untill My Last Breath ✅

Swan Song

Kamal's unrelenting attitude made her decide to grant his wishes, she still thought it wasn't a good idea leaving him alone but Kamal was unyielding and she had to cave.
"Fine" she said "I'll go, one hour and everyone will be here"

Kamal nodded his thanks and Aunty Salma made her leave.

  One hour was more than enough, Kamal thought as he walked back sullying into the bedroom.
She laid on their bed, at the same exact position they had left her. His heart drowned in disappointment: but why? He thought.
Was he hoping she would be out of the bed before he returned back to the room? Or at least move? Anything to signify the notion that she wasn't gone.

He stood for some time staring blankly at her, then exhaled deeply.
"Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un" he mumbled weakly "ya Allah, help me"

He rushed to the bed were she laid. Kneeling on the side of the bed wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face on her abdomen.
He wanted to tear at himself, but he had not the strength for that. He wanted to scream, but his voice failed him. He wanted to cry, but he had no tears. Why can't he cry, he thought. Why?

In his predicament, anger started to take over but he refused to give in.
"Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un" he kept reciting until at last he was able to remove himself from her body.

Kamal stood and went about gathering the items he needed to prepare her. He could have brought out everything he needed in a minute or two but Kamal chose to take his time picking each item separately and slowly, then placing it carefully on the carpeted floor of their bedroom. Clearly, he wasn't in a hurry.

Everything perfectly laid out, Kamal spread out Amal's prayer mat. He then walked to their bed and picked her up: her body was slumped: her face, beautiful still. He stared at her as he walked to the mat, as if memorizing of her face: the same face he knew every outline, every contour.
He laid her gently and carefully in the prayer mat, then he knelt before her and prayed to God to forgive her and grant her mercy. He prayed for everything good for her in the life she was embarking on.

Prayers seemed to have no end, Kamal proceeded to undress her. He washed her thoroughly and made her hair. He then embalmed her skin with white musk. He smiled as he rubbed the perfume on her, he remembered how he hated the scent of it the first time they got married and how Amal wouldn't get rid of it, she loved the scent and it was of 'feminine importance' she had used those exact words with a wink of her eye as if he would know what that meant. After like a month, the scent didn't bother him anymore and sitting there he wondered if he got used to it or he started loving the scent, well it doesn't matter now. He thought with extent regret.

He took some cotton wool and sealed every orifice, then he tied her thumbs and her toes. Finally he wrapped her in a flawless cut white cloth.

Exhausted he sat back and inspect his work, then it occurred to him that he had since been talking alone while he was working. It didn't matter that no one was there to answer or comment on what he said, he didn't even need anyone to reply to what he was saying: he just needed to talk and he did.
He sighed and looked at her face and the glow gladdened his heart, he would leave her face open for now, he would leave her for her parents to see her one last time.

Kamal didn't know what time it was but he was sure the one hour his Aunty spared him was almost relapsed. Everyone will be there soon. Quickly, he stood and cleared the area.

Her body now laid on their bedroom floor, prepared and scented. Kamal sat before her, legs crossed. He wasn't praying or talking to himself, he wasn't even thinking: everything was blank: he just sat there motionless, staring at her face.