Lapis x fem!reader "To understand Emotions"

Chapter 4

"Hey!" She greeted, a cheerful smile. Oh jeez, there was that warm feeling in your cheeks again, what was it again? Oh, duh! Peridot said it was 'blushing'.
"H-hi." you responded.
"Need a hand?" She asked, holding her hand out as you took it, getting up.
"T-thanks."
"no problem. So, do you like what me and Peri did with the place?"
"It's very creative and suits your styles perfectly. I like it!" You complimented. "Thanks. Hey, wanna go for a walk on the beach?"
"Sure!"

~~~~
And so here you were, walking side by side with Lapis, the quiet waves stunning as ever. "Hey ,wanna see something cool?" Lapis asked, turning to you.
"Sure!" You agreed.

Lapis smiled and turnt to the waves, lifting her hand and using her powers to form shapes with it. Star, cat, Pumpkin, all the crystal gems, and..
"A rose?" "Yeah, they're quite lovely, wouldn't you agree?"
"Uhm.. I guess.." you mumbled under your breath. "Hey, you good?" She asked, shifting to face you. "Huh? oh, yeah!" You smiled reassuringly.

"So, how about you?" She asked.
"Huh? What about me?" You asked tilting your head in confusion.
"C'mon, you know! Your abilities!"
"My.. Abilities? I, uhm- don't really have any, ha ha..But I like yours! It's so cool!" You cheered. She blushed a little and smiled happily, giggling at the compliment. "Ha ha, you're too sweet for your own good, Tanzanite!" She giggled, patting your head, making you blush as you focused your gaze elsewhere.

(Flashback...)
"My Diamond! I swear I got it right this time! See?" You eagerly announced, performing your current act you put up for her: Balancing on 6 balls at once.

"Alright, Tanzanite. Let's see it." Yellow commanded. You got on top of the balls and begun to focus on your balance, only to fall backwards, hitting your head against the ground. "O-oww...". Yellow started laughing, which made you smile. You loved it when you found a way to make her happy. She lifted you in her hand,
"You're adorable, my Tanzanite."
"Is that a bad thing?" You asked, tilting your head as you looked up at her. She simply laughed and patted your head.

"Oh, Tanzanite, my clueless Tanzanite.. Never change."
(End of flashback...)

You felt yourself begin to cry, immediately earning a confused look from Lapis as she put her hands on your shoulders. "Hey.. Are you okay, Tanzanite? D-did I do something wrong?" She asked worryingly.
"Why... Why, Lapis.." you asked.
"Huh..? What..?" "W-why.. Why are you so much like her..?"
"Her..?"
"You remind me so much of her.. You're caring nature, the strange feeling I get from you that I got from her.. You're just like her.. But..I know you're not her.. You're not Yellow Diamond.."
"Yellow Diamond? Did you know her..?"

You sighed and looked away. Lapis grabbed your hands and looked you in the eyes. "Tanzanite, please.. You won't feel better unless you talk about your feelings with me."
"Feelings.. I just don't get them.. I don't even know what they are.. All I know is that they make me feel so... weird..." You cupped your face in your hands.
"Hey, hey, it's alright. You'll understand them soon. I'm sure of it." she reassured, giving a small smile. "Now, please. Just let me help you.."
You sighed and nodded, looking up at the blue gem. She led you by the hand towards the ocean as you both sat on your knees, the calm waves getting them soaked in water.

"It.. I-it was a long time ago.." you began, "long before I knew Pearl, I served Yellow Diamond.. At first, it was just her and I. I told her jokes and was always coming up with new tricks to perform for her, and even when I messed it up, she gave me a smile and a laugh.. Heh, I miss her smile.." you went off, smiling sadly remembering your time you spent with Yellow. It hurt so much remembering all you had, only to lose it all. You would've given anything to have it all back.
"Tanzanite.."
"I-i'm okay.."
"Do you think you can handle telling the rest of the story..?" "Y-yeah.." you nodded.

"So, later on, another Tanzanite came along. Me and her performed acts for Yellow together, but by that time, Yellow began to change from the Yellow I knew.."
"she 'changed'..?"
"Well, you see.. When I knew Yellow, I always saw her as a sweet bright gem, but.. She started to get more serious ..mean.. So, one day, me and the other Tanzanite decided we were ready to try performing fusion for her ..and it backfired.."
"Like it did with us..?"
"Y.. Yeah.. Like it did with us.. I-I guess i'm just not meant for fusing, huh..?" You smiled, tears pricking your eyes.

"So, after failing, Yellow excuses the failure and.. I find out i'm being given to her sister, Pink Diamond.. I get this weird feeling in my chest, but I don't know what it is and all of a sudden I feel little droplets of water building up in my eyes that turn to streams of water, and I tried to convince her otherwise.. I.. I didn't understand why she was giving me up.. We were such good friends, and.. I.." you sighed, letting the tears glide down your cheeks,
"L-looking back at it now, I wonder if she even cared about me like how I did for her..".

Lapis gave you a sympathetic look as she took in what she learned about you.
"You loved her.. And she gave you up..".
You looked up at her a perplexed, "Um.. I-is that what you call it? 'Love'..?" You asked, to which Lapis giggled and placed a hand on your shoulder.
"Yes, love. It's when someone makes you smile and feel good, like all of a sudden your life has meaning and you feel at peace. That's love." she explained, a small smile across her face. You smiled back and grabbed her hands gently, making her blush at the sudden action.

"I-if that's love, then.. I-I love you as my friend, Lapis..!" You hugged her tightly, tears still flowing. "W-we are friends,right..?" You asked, looking up at her. She gave a slight surprised look but smiled and placed a hand on your head gently. "Yes, we're friends, Tanzanite." You looked towards her in awe and smiled as you hugged her again.

"Hey, Lapis..?"
"Yes?"
"You.. You won't leave me like Yellow Diamond did, r-right..? P-please don't get rid of me.."
Lapis then returned the embrace, "Don't worry.."

"This time you won't be hurt.. You'll never have to feel the pain she caused you again.. I promise.."