Gregor And The New Visionary

Rigid

Gregor stood at the edge of the roof of his building, four stories high. How unlike himself he had been since leaving the Underland for the final time. He was plagued by his memories of him killing, killing, killing. Gregor lost more than than anyone ever should. He lost a part of himself that was so essential for any living being. Gregor felt cursed. Like even if he had gone back down miles beneath New York City he would be forced back into his role as the warrior and the bloodshed would begin again. 

"Gregor?" squeaked a tiny little voice.

Gregor was pulled from his imagination and felt himself return to real life in his apartment and he shifted gears for the well being of his sister. "Hey litttle girl I was just thinking about you," he lied. They looked into each others eyes; hers were innocent and so full of love and his were ashamed and distant. And yet when Boots looked at him she saw none of that. She just saw her older brother and protector.

She used her fingers to signal him to come right up to her and pulled his hand until he was down at her eye level. "I tell you a secret," she said. 

Gregor turned his head so she could whisper in his ear but instead cringed as she nearly screamed, "We going to the park, today!" 

Gregor laughed and then sharply inhaled as he thought about the entrance to the Underland. He was shocked by how scared he suddenly was of the idea of going back down there. He never wanted to kill again but that place would bring it out of him. "Luxa,"he thought. "Do you ever peek your head out of that hole and look at the stars? Do we ever see the same star?" 

Boots pulled him into the living room and he saw his mom standing there. "Hey mom," he burst out. "Boots said we're going to the park today?"

"Mmhmm. I thought it might be nice to get some fresh air. I know we've all been a little rigid lately," said his mom.

Gregor thought of Ares after having his throat torn out by the Bane. Rigid. His dead body was rigid.

"What do you mean, rigid?" Gregor said, pushing away the intruding nightmare in his head.

His mom looked disappointed, as if she hated having to explain how they had all been feeling. "Well it's been three months since we left.. that place." She cleared her throat and continued, "And I think it would be good, necessary even, to return there and heal our wounds at the source. I've arranged for Luxa to meet us there at four."

Gregors mouth fell open. Now this was insane. After all her effort to detach Gregor, Lizzie and Boots from the Underland, here she was, saying that they were going back down, to heal?! Gregor felt like he had just jumped off a building, four stories high, and just smashed into the pavement. "M-Mom, what are you saying?" And suddenly he was enraged. "We're just gonna waltz right back into the kingdom of violence? Back to the land of giant rats, and wars, and genocide? Back to the place where I was forced into malicious prophecies and watched my bond die?" Gregor was literally pulling his hair out now. "You're tearing me apart, mom!"

His mom looked shocked as she clearly had not expected this. 

How could she? Gregor never elaborated on the things he had done there and definitely never told her how it had impacted him. How he literally went to the museum just to see a stone knight because that's what he felt like.. like he was made of stone. How the idea that finally dying could be his only way to achieve peace. He sunk in the couch and teetered on the verge of crying.

His mom sat down next to him and tried to comfort him. "Gregor it's okay, sweety. Just let it all out. You can cry if you need to."

"Just," Gregor began. "Just tell me that we're not going back there."

His mom straightened up and spoke with authority. "Alright, Gregor. We are never going back there."