Who's Fault?

Chapter Ten

By that point, the sky outside was starting to darken, so I chose to use the time in which I was waiting to take my next step by building a gingerbread house. I set everything I needed up on the coffee table and made myself comfortable on the floor in front of the couch. I had to admit, I wasn't the most creative person and if I thought I had messed something up to the point of no return, I would have a mental breakdown, but I did find the process rather relaxing. I only got to putting the pieces of the gingerbread together perfectly before the timer on my phone went off telling me I needed to finish cooking.

I finished with the potatoes—mashing them up and adding the rest of the ingredients—then put the green beans in a pot over a hot burner. I didn't like the taste of fresh green beans, but enjoyed them when they came in a can. All I could do from then on was decorate my gingerbread house.

As I was putting the finishing touches on my masterpiece, the oven timer was going off telling me the turkey was finished. I checked the temperature of the turkey making sure it was fully cooked and exclaimed, "finally!" Now it was time for the hard part: carving the turkey.

I had struggled with this task for many years, ever since starting this tradition of a Thanksgiving meal on Christmas Day. I wasn't sure why, but I always had issues with it. It took me forever to complete the task, but it was always worth it. Once finished, I filled my plate to its edges and made my way back to the couch. I then turned on the first of the three 'Santa Clause' movies. When the movie was halfway through I made myself another, much smaller, plate to eat as I finished watching.

The movie ended and I pressed play on the sequel before getting up from the couch and cleaning up my mess in the kitchen. I put all the leftover food in containers and placed them in the fridge, then turned to the dishes and started washing. Normally, I would have left the mess and told myself I would wash everything the next day leading me to procrastinate doing them for another month. With the amount of dishes I used to make this meal, it wasn't the best idea. I knew from past experience. So I decided it was best to get it over with right away.

When the kitchen was practically spotless, I turned the AC down, to make it feel more like Christmas and reacquainted myself with the couch to finish up the trilogy I had been watching. The last fifteen minutes of the third movie I spent mixing ingredients for whipped cream for the pie and making hot chocolate. I plopped and spread the whipped cream on the pie, then cut it into eighths and pulled a piece out to eat. I poured my hot chocolate into a mug, then snuggled up on the couch to watch my favorite Christmas movie of all time: The Grinch. Jim Carrey's Grinch, of course.

A couple hours later, the credits to the movie rolled and I was stuffed and exhausted. I cleaned up what was left from the whipped cream, then made my way to my room. As I got comfortable in my bed, I sighed and thought: another lonely Christmas finally over with.

Christmas season in my house was never anywhere close to cheerful. Every year I spent my mother's money on new decorations, presents for Max and Chloe, one big present for myself, and on a decent meal. It was all in attempt to cheer myself up, but I was always by myself. Always in vain. I didn't care that my mom and I never celebrated together, I actually preferred it that way, it just made me wish that my dad was still around so I could spend that time with him.

When I first became really close with Chloe and Max, they started inviting me over to spend Christmas with them and their family. I never took them up on their offer. I knew they hadn't wanted me to be alone, but I couldn't bring myself to join them. After the first few years, I could tell that they knew I would refuse, but they still invited me every year.

Besides, Thanksgiving at my house took place on Black Friday. The two of them would come over and we would act as if it was Thanksgiving day. It had become tradition. I would record the parade and football game, and we would watch them and eat a good meal. I wouldn't make the classic Thanksgiving day meal, because eating all of that two days in a row is too much. Usually I made honey baked ham and mac n cheese and I would put together a salad and figure out something for desert. After that we would go out and start spending a crap ton of my mother's money on Christmas decorations.