Seriously? (A Neji Hyuga story)

Chapter Three

He thought he had seen the bounds of Lee's stupidity, but apparently not. The whole team had told Lee not to do it, and he still did it. Now him and Tenten were in the hospital and banned from missions for a while, and Gai was on solos. Neji was now heading to the Hokage's tower to be loaned out to the first team that needs an extra hand, because apparently his potential shouldn't be wasted. He starts up the stairs. The long, unnecessary stairs. Seriously why the heck are there so many? Is it meant to deter intruders? Because if so it's not going to work. Ninja can walk on walls.

    Neji, particularly annoyed by this string of thoughts, knocks a little too hard on the thick wooden door. Oak or cedar maybe.
 
  "Come on in" An older voice speaks. Neji enters the room and gives a military bow to his Hokage.

   "Neji Hyuga sir, here to be assigned a temporary team." He rises from his bow and crosses his arms rather than fall into an "at rest" stance. The genin teacher next to the Hokage gains a tickmark.

  "Neji you're supposed to fall into a resting pose! That is not at all how you stand before the Hokage-!"

   "Iruka he's fine, let him be." Iruka pauses and sits back down at his Hokage's request.
Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Third Hokage, examines the boy before him as he puffs his pipe in thought. "Who is your sensei?"

   Neji responds in a short tone, one that suggested that he didn't want to speak, and that he knew the Hokage should know who is sensei is. If he really didn't, he was bad at his job. Or just old. Probably old.. "Might Gai."

   Hiruzen nods. "Well, you may stand off to the side. I'm sure a genin team will be here soon."
Neji's permanent glare seems to smolder for a moment at Hiruzen's gentle smile before he turns to take a seat next to his old sensei.

   While he waited, Neji thought about the last few months. His genin team had finally gotten missions outside of the village. They took C ranks now. And Neji had his first kill awhile back. He'd been refusing to think about it. He just wished he could write about it in something other than his rant book. Tell someone how he felt.

    It was moments like this he wished he wasn't such an off-standish person on the outside. That he had friends he trusted enough to tell everything.
His thoughts drift to the note in his pocket and he zones out.

   He wished he hadn't zoned out. That when the genin team came in he had time to run. Not that paying attention would have made a difference. Neji never heard a knock, but that was because when Naruto came in, he hadn't knocked. He burst in like hell was on his heels.

   "Jiji we got the devil cat!" Neji had actually jumped in his seat. The lady who stood near the desk takes the cat from Sakura, who had come in behind Sasuke, who had followed Naruto.

   Neji's heart drops at the sight of the three. Academy had been let out two months prior, and Kakashi had told "Nishi" who his team was. And, of course, in strolls Kakashi, with a painful pounding of Neji's heart, a half wave, and a greeting of "Yo".

    The four genin in the room don't notice the Hyuga, they were too preoccupied with the woman squeezing the heck out of the poor cat. Neji was only glad that they were still doing D ranks. That meant Neji would be waiting here just a bit longer. He was completely fine with that.

    Nooo!!" Neji jolts as Naruto yells out. "I wanna go on a real mission! Not these glorified chores! Come on old man!" This seems to trigger Iruka, because he stands up.

  "How dare you! You're just a brand new genin with no experience!" And then, they begin to argue back and forth. Neji was mildly amused. Best thing to happen all day.

   And Kakashi looked so done. He wondered if that's how the older male reacted to his letters. If so, he had even more of a reason to send them! The best part was when Kakashi hit him over the head in annoyance and told him to put a lid on it.

Second best part? When the Hokage gave them the mission. A C rank. Which meant Neji would be going with them. The most dysfunctional team in the village. The team with Kakashi. Neji wasn't ready for this. He really wasn't. This mission would blow his act right out of the water. Train wreck, your station is coming up! Take a right at Kami Why? and full speed ahead! Talk about chugga chugga chugga fuck me...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Neji was pretty much numb as he packed to leave. He knows he may be over exaggerating but does he care? Probably not. This is Neji we're talking about. If he did care, it was probably sarcastically. He briefly contemplated commiting mass genocide in Spanish, but he decided German would probably be a better choice and he didn't know any.

Oh look, a poorly timed holocaust joke.

Annoyingly enough, Neji was the second to arrive at the gates. And the first was Kakashi. (And Tazuna, the old man they were escorting to wave.) Who tries to talk to him.
Neji was zoned out though, thinking about singing some stupid song about left brains and right brains that was playing in the back of his mind and imagining smashing that bottle of sake over the stupid old mans head. Yes, in that order. He figured spontaneously bursting into song would distract Kakashi enough to give him time to do the deed. (just imagine that, Neji yelling something about oreos and cats before grabbing the bottle...) He doubted that ever happened in a fight, bursting into song.. He should try that one day. Neji will HamilSlam all over the battlefield if he had the chance to.
Wonder what that tactic would be called? Song-jutsu? Yes, beautiful. One day it will be a common tactic. They will teach it in the academy. Nishi no-last-name-given will be a household name! Just imagine all the fame-
"NARUTO YOU BAKA!" Neji winces at the sudden bursting on his eardrums. What the hell? "Why the hell are you yelling he's right next to you Dumbass"
Sakura falters at Neji's comment, flushing with shame as she glances at the Uchiha off to the side.. "I, Uh.-"
"HEY DON'T CALL SAKURA-CHAN NAMES!" Ah, of course, now Naruto is yelling. Neji glares at him, and he shuts his mouth. Kakashi sweat drops. "Ah, let's get going you four. We have a lot of ground to cover." They march out the gates in relative silence
"Yatta!!" Naruto exclaims as they exit the village gates. Never mind about the silence. Neji sighs. So loud. "Naruto please be more quiet" The blond sheepishly rubs the back of his neck.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Tazuna-san, are there any Ninjas in your village?" Really? "I thought you were top of your class. You should know that already, Sakura" The girl deflates.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

God can Sasuke be any more emo? Oh hey a puddle. Wait, when was the last time it rained? "Kakashi-" Chains shoot from the puddle, and Neji watches in horror as Kakashi is ripped to shreds.