celebrity crush - Jake Kiszka

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When they told me I would be interviewing Jake Kiszka, I got ridiculously nervous. I've been working on the radio for six months now, and during this period I had the opportunity to interview Brian May. Now you ask me, how could you interview Brian Fucking May, a rock 'n' roll legend, and get this nervous about a boy who's just starting? The answer is simple and embarrassingly unprofessional: he's my celebrity crush.

If the guy was an asshole, I would be nervous anyways, but he is not, he is actually very nice during interviews. Well, the whole band is, but Jake is not only nice, he tends to get flirtatious. Now put yourself in my shoes for a second; if he starts flirting, how am I supposed to finish the thing? And if he doesn't, how am I going to deal with the fact my celebrity crush has flirted with everyone but me? Ok, maybe not everyone, but you got the idea.

I couldn't sleep the night before; I did dream about Jake the whole night, but I was very awake. When the sun decided to peek inside my room through the gaps of my closed window, I knew it was time to get up and get ready for the day. I took a shower, spent half an hour trying to chose something nice to wear and another half trying to get rid of the dark circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep.

When I finally left home, I was greeted by the nicest morning the year had offered so far. The sky was dressed in the finest blue and the sun was taking the world in a warm, comforting hug. I somehow managed to slip through its arms, though, because I was feeling anything but comforted and warm. I was actually shivering. Because of a guy. Like a thirteen year old girl. Pathetic.

When I arrived at the radio, I immediately started to look for work. I needed to focus on something until the interview, or else I would explode. I was able to write some bulletins, but my mind kept wandering back to Jake. I had two hours until his arrival, so I just decided to stop trying to get him out of my head and started focusing on him.

I wrote the questions as soon as I heard about the interview. I'm a sucker for Greta Van Fleet, I have watched every single interview out there and I knew exactly what I wanted to know that no one had asked. I am pretty confident about my journalistic skills, I knew I was good, I knew the questions were good, but still, I was nervous as hell.

I read the questions over and over, trying to find something wrong. Then, I started to think about what could happen. He could hate me, he could hate the questions, he could say something slightly flirtatious and I wouldn't be able to keep my professionalism. I tried to think about all the possible scenarios so I would be prepared. But believe me, nothing can prepare you for Jake Kiszka.

When he arrived, I was already waiting for him in the room with Jeffrey, the camera guy. It would be a live interview on the radio and the audiovisual content would be posted online. When I saw him, I started shaking, the guy looked even better live. I felt like a teenage girl. When he came to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek, a tasted the red on my face. My voice gave away how nervous I was and I caught him laughing a little at my reaction.

The interview was great. As usual, he answered all of the questions the best he could, always very polite, making one joke here and there and he was a bit flirty as he normally is. But something was wrong. He looked a bit off, there were dark circles under his eyes, his jokes sounded kind of forced, like he was trying too hard and he kept constantly looking down, thinking too much before answering.

I waited for Jeffrey to leave the room and walked to Jake. He was still sitting, I stood in front of him.

"Hey." I sounded shy, still nervous.

"Hey." He looked up at me, a tired smile on his face.

"Is everything alright? You look off." He genuinely smiled and holded one of my hands.

"It's all cool, I'm just really tired."

"Look, the interview was aired live, but I'm editing the video to post it, so if you want me to cut anything..."

"No, don't. The interview was great, I was actually meaning to tell you that. I loved the questions, really, it was different and deep." I felt the ends of my mouth touching my ears, that's how big my smile was.

"Thank you, I worked really hard for this one. I love your band, I wanted this to be worth it."

"It was, you should be proud."

And then we had a moment. I was prepared for flirtatious comments, but not for this. He was still sitting, I was standing between his legs, his hand never left mine, instead, his thumb started to gently draw circles on top of it. We stared at each other's eyes for what felt like forever. In reality, that must have lasted probably just a few seconds, but it was enough for us to create our own world and get lost in it.

When the door was opened, I felt like drowning back to the real world. We both jumped in surprise. Some man put his head inside the room and told Jake they had to leave.

"Ok, I'm coming." The man left, and Jake faced me again. "Are you going to the concert tonight?"

"Yes. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"We are going to this pub afterwards. If you give me your number, we can meet and you can come with us."

Yes, he asked for my number. I couldn't believe that either, but it happened. And I gave him, obviously. What happened when I got to the venue was so crazy, I can't even remember the details. What I know is that I had just arrived when Jake texted me, asking where I was. He then told me to go to the entrance and stay there. Not much later, one of the security guards appeared and told me to follow him. Suddenly, I was hugging Jake backstage and being introduced to the rest of the band.

Jake Kiszka got actually interested in me. Why? Guess I will never understand.

The show was amazing, incredibly mind blowing. It didn't matter how many live videos I had watched, being there felt like an out-of-body experience. It was surreal. Plus, I was backstage, which took the event to a whole new level.

I lost my balance when I saw Jake leaving the stage and coming to where I was. He was glowing both of sweat and happiness. He was wearing an opened jacket with nothing underneath and his hair was all wet and messy. He was beautiful.

When he saw me, his face turned to a more serious expression. He kept walking in my direction, looking at me very intensely. I felt like I was melting, like my whole body was dripping on the floor. Before I could completely disappear, he stopped, millimeters keeping us apart.

His right hand found their way to the back of my head. He pulled my hair a bit, making me look up. His eyes fell from mine to my lips, then back up, looking for an answer. It was a "yes". I didn't open my mouth, but he heard, everyone did. It was like a shout, a silent one.

He kissed me. He devoured me. He owned me. Right there, on the back of the stage.

"Wanna forget about that pub?"

I did want it, so we went to his hotel room, where we forgot about the world.

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