Mine {Book 1}| Completed

Prologue: Trapped In My Depression

       I loved the feeling of the shower water pouring down on me. The hot water hitting down on my shoulder, helping my tight tensed muscles to loosen. And I just sighed again of relief. And I just feel like my sorrows have been washed away by the water. And I just couldn't imagine a better place to feel safe and no worries. But Christopher kept coming back in my mind. In my head. And of course, I thought of Christopher as this perfect guy I could be with to runaway with. I imagined us running away. It's like I'm in a story. But I know it sounds crazy. But I was in love with Christopher. Actually I'm still in love with him. And I cannot get him out of my head. The long talks we had together, the fear, the disagreements, everything we had in common, the need to talk about things we could understand one another and talk about anything. Things that we wouldn't talk to anybody else about. We had this strong beautiful emotional connection. I can't help what I wanted. And my father couldn't see that.

      I felt like it was beyond silent. I just wanted to relax myself. And I just wanted to feel like my fear and worries would go south or north. And I knew any second I would collapse my feelings and bottle them up like what I'm not supposed to do. But I can see things clearly now about my dad. That he doesn't care or he would have visited me or wrote me. And he's done neither. But I do love my dad but he obviously doesn't treat me respectfully by throwing me in here when I'm not crazy. But as always I just can't believe he tore me from someone. It was September a week before Christopher was going off to college. And I remember how much I was gonna miss him. He was going to San Francisco so it was quite away from Santa Monica.

Christopher was a beautiful person. He had a soul and he was an interesting person to me. And since my dad was furious of the secret relationship I had with my stepbrother it had torn me apart. And to be able to see that happen to me it has torn me down because I loved Christopher. And I knew it was wrong. But I took my shot. We both did. And it's crazy since I been in here...I still remember being with him. And what it felt like and how I loved it. And how I loved him.

My dad kept telling me that Christopher had brainwashed me and that I was not in love with him and that it's not what it was meant to be. And I remember how my dad just brought me here and that was it. I haven't seen him since. And I rather keep it that way.

I stepped out of the shower once I had done everything and I had the towel wrapped around me as I got out. And I just thought of how I looked. I looked at my reflection in the steamed mirror and I was pale. And my hair was soaked and I looked different every time I saw my reflection. And I wanted to break down and cry every time. And of course, I just ignored what I looked like and I had just traveled back to my room closing the door behind me. And I had looked at my room looking empty still. But then I had just walked in even though it felt a little cold. And I just saw how grateful I was being here instead of some boarding school.

I had opened up the drawers and I had saw the clothes nicely folded and I took out undergarments and a nice floral mini dress and then I had put them on and I had brushed my long brown wet hair. And I used the towel to help myself get my hair dried. And I had remained quiet and I just sat on my bed that I had made and I opened my book to To Kill a Mockingbird. And it is my favorite book and I only enjoy it perfectly because I been reading it as long as I can remember. When I was little, my mother used to read it to me every night.

     Once my hair was dried I decided to wear it in a low ponytail. And then we had to go collect our medicines. So I had left my room and when I saw Gretchen standing there all I wanted to do was scream. Another girl was new and her name is Chelsea and she had looked at Gretchen as in the same way. But however, Gretchen took it literal. And she rolled her eyes at her and it only made Gretchen, Melinda and Gem want to attack her. Gretchen went in back of her and I stood watching, and feeling so bad for Chelsea to already get picked on. I had taken her cigarettes and I hid them. Actually I had given them to Candy who has nerves and she smoked the entire pack and Gretchen blamed Cora who steals her things all the time and Candy and I actually loved seeing Gretchen go crazy.