Becoming Bad

chapter nineteen

After what feels like an eternity, I gather every tear of strength that I've left and leave my bathroom, the time that it's marked on the clock on top of my nightstand causing me to sigh in response.

7:00 am.

With everything that has happened, I forgot that today is a fucking Monday and that despite the pain, I need to go to school.

I don't bother to dress up or hide the marks on my body to use a tank top, all I do is use some concealer on my cheek, a low yelp escaping my lips as I apply it, and choose dark ripped jeans and a black hoodie to make me escape from the rest of the world today.

Despite my desire to hide in my room all day, I head straight to my brother's bedroom, after making sure no one will be able to see the bruises.

Sammy can't see what Tom did to me.

The sight that I have of him, the minute I walk through the semi-open door, is heartbreaking. He's hugged tightly to his light blue teddy bear and matching blanket, his chestnut wavy curls sticking to his head because of the sweat and yet, he doesn't let go of his toy.

His chest is peacefully going up and down as I get near him and I need to take a deep breath when I notice reminiscent tears on his cheeks, my heart tightening because of it.

"Hey Sammy," I whisper in his ear, running my hands through his hair in a comforting and reassuring way and he slowly opens his big green eyes, still wet from crying.

"Hey Lina," He wraps his tiny arms around me, the first time in days that he's the one to hug me, and I have to look up so I don't start crying again as I do the same, pulling him into a tight grip.

"I don't want to go to school today," Samuel murmurs, so faithfully that I almost don't hear it, and his hands are trembling beside me. I nod at the little boy in front of me, my heart sinking to the realization that my brother is scared of staying home, and give him a kiss on the forehead before parting away.

"I will drop you by Linda's, alright? You can sleep there today," The mention of my aunt's name is enough to make his face light up and even though she hates me, she gives the world to my brother and I'm thankful for that.

With Sammy in her house the whole night, the hits won't be too bad; the sight of him seeing them taking up my whole mind. And that way I can think clearly about what to do next, this situation reached a point where I need to react.

"Meet me downstairs in fifteen," I reassure him, looking straight into his green eyes and he immediately nods at me.

With that and one last glance at Samuel, now with a big smile on the corners of his lips, I leave his bedroom, heading straight downstairs. The sight of my dad's closed-door is enough to make me let out a relieved breath and I pray that my brother and I are gone before he wakes up.

I don't have the strength to go against him, not like this.

On the way to the kitchen, I text my aunt, my heart pounding against my chest to the thought of her saying no but when she immediately answers me back with a happy emoji and a thumbs up, I let myself breathe again.

She might hate me but when it comes to my brother...

As soon as I reach the kitchen's white marble countertop, a shiver goes through my entire body as I look to the stove where Tom placed my wrist but I push it away, a sigh escaping my lips. I have no idea what I'm going to do, but one thing I'm sure of, Sammy will escape this.

I do the usual and the fastest I can, eggs and bacon, and take quick breaths during the whole thing, trying so hard not to break today.

In a matter of minutes, my brother arrives and I hide the constant pain that shoots everywhere on my body with a caring smile. We eat in silence, his tiny legs swinging in the air, and I take his hand in mine when he finishes it, trying to decipher what is going on in his little head.