The Dawn Breaking Over Our Horizon

Untitled Part 9 unedited

Desperate to find a way to calm myself I walk to the back garden, stopping to peer around corners and listen for any strange sounds. I grab the first jacket hanging in the closet in the foyer before walking outside in the fall air. Cold air braces against my face but my feet freeze at the sigh of a man I haven't seen in a little less than a month.

The incomplete moonlight shines across my fathers' pale skin, brightening the look on his face into a picture of serene peace. It is a look I never thought I would see in him. My eyes prickle with unshed tears as I watch his chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm, my own heart nearly stopping in shock.

"Tsuki-chan," Our eyes meet, two blue skies merging for just a moment, my own preparing for rain, "It's been a while, how are you?" the sound of our native tongue coming from my fathers' earthy voice finally breaks the damn holding back my tears.

"Oto-san," my voice cracks, so full of emotion, all of the anxiety and stress from today and the fear following my nightmare finally converging. Seeing my tears, my father tsks and motions for me to stand beside him. The tear stains on my face feels like ice trails as tear after tear descends my cheeks, staining them red.

We stand together in silence, a peaceful atmosphere surrounding us as we enjoy each other's presence. A slow breeze moves past, causing the kimono I grabbed to sway around my feet and gently tap against my fathers' leg. Our gaze drops to look at the cloth and I can feel my breath escape my lungs.

The lavender silk sways in the breeze, fluttering behind me as if the wind would pick me up and send me far away at any moment. Just like my mother had, "It looks like you found it Tsuki-chan. Part of your mothers wedding Kimono. She always hated the color red, to her, lavender was the only option for our wedding. I couldn't tell you why." My father's lips turn up in a nostalgic smile. He is looking at me like he has begun to see me for the woman I have grown to be.

After all this time, I feel like he might actually return to me. I would forgive him for everything if he could just look at me like that every day.

The wind settles and our eyes turn back to our Zen garden. The connection with nature here is almost magical. All I have to do to center myself is close my eyes and take a deep breath down to the bottom of my soul, let myself become rooted in the earth and allow my soul to roam the world as my body tends to the grounds.

Time loses its meaning as my father and I embrace the fall night. All worries fall from our minds and release their stressful grip on our bodies. Our breathing synchronizes and creatures of the night begin their hunt in our presence.

I don't know how long we stood in silence, our hearts and minds relaxing side by side, "Tomorrow will be a full moon," My father's impeccable English breaks the silence, but something about English doesn't fit in this space so his next words are spoken in Japanese, "We should get some rest tonight for we won't get hardly any tomorrow."

We smile at one another for a moment, trying to prolong this peace a little longer. My eyes close as my exhaustion begins to creep up on me. Arms wind their way around my back and a hand pulls my head into a broad chest. Fear sets my heart racing, but just before I am about to fight back, I catch the scent of my father's cologne. Japanese pine and oak wood floats past my nose, soothing my fears instantly.

Each time he ignored my pleas for attention, my invitations to come to balls with me as an escort, the little picture or other project left to be forgotten outside his study, all of that is forgiven. That one embrace from him erases all of those harbored feelings of pain, no doubt to be replaced with new memories. For now, at least, I can feel like we are a family once again, "I will see you tomorrow for breakfast. Good night Tsuki-chan."

I nod my head, unable to respond in fear that all this was a dream. Afraid that anything could make me wake up, we both walk back inside with my father's arm around my shoulders. Our footfalls echo softly through the sleeping house together, up the stairs and to the threshold of my room. My father only stops for a moment with me at my door, choosing to hold me at arm's length then kiss my forehead gently before walking the rest of the way to his room.

The smile on my face feels permanent, I do not know wat could possibly make this night better. Most likely some much needed sleep. I shake my head to clear it and enter my room, gliding across the floor like nothing could bring me down. Dare I say it, not even the heat of one of Sebastian's glares could do the trick.

My happiness swells in my heart as I commit this night to memory, I am determined to never forget this feeling and how my father could at least gift me with that. I lay down in my bed after placing my mothers wedding kimono atop the ones from the ball and settle myself under the covers. For once, my mind easily listens the sounds of the house like a lullaby and I find myself falling into a peaceful slumber.