My Bad Boy Werewolf Quadrillionaire Space Lord

Street Brawl with a Cabal

The pile of glitter had an unpleasant smell that wafted in the gentle breeze. Carried along with a stream of tiny, shiny specks, the noxious odour of rotting flesh and overpriced perfume was distinctly distasteful to Luca's wolffish senses.

However, the discomfort was hard to register. The shock was too strong. "Spray tan did that?" Luca asked incredulously. He looked down at the pile of glitter at Viviana's feet, torn between bewilderment and hilarity. "What else is in that bag?"

Viviana reached inside and started to pull things out. "A weird wooden block. A lot of silver things like rosaries, brass knuckles made of silver, there's a silver sword in here-"

"Leave that," Luca said quickly. "Too indiscriminate."

"You want the silver knuckles, boss?" Viviana asked.

"No," Luca said quickly. "Silver's always given me a nasty rash. What else?"

"A bottle of fake orange juice, a lot of guns with silver hollow-point ammo, a flamethrower," Viviana continued.

"As if I needed more reasons to be afraid of your parents, Luca," Alcuard reflected.

"Garlic cooking oil, a box full of religious jewellery, holy water, and a small piece of metal that says 'lightsaber'," Viviana finished.

"Toss me the wooden block," Luca said. "And give the vampire the lightsaber."

Viviana complied, tossing both objects through the air. Alcuard sheared his sword and caught the device while it was still in the air, and Luca caught the piece of wood Viviana tossed his way. Luca turned the piece of wood over, and read a little post-it note attached on one side.

In his father's crampt scrawl, the note read 'not sure about this one'.

The piece of wood in his hand was as long and as wide as his hand, and about three inches thick. It was carved on each side with unusual patterns, like crevices and cracks. On one corner Luca could see 'AAA sirloin' carved in the wood.

Alcuard meanwhile had taken the metal cylinder in one hand, and pressed a button. In exactly a sixtieth of a second a blade of bright of white light extended from the handle, gleaming exactly light sunlight seen from space. Alcuard grinned, and swung the blade into the ground, clearly expecting it to carve through the cobblestones.

Instead, the blade bounced off the rock as if the lightsaber was made of foam.

"Oh!" Luca snapped his fingers and pointed at the glow-stick in Alcuard's hands. "They discovered a while back that light can be made to behave like matter, so that it has density and behaves like a solid object. Except that as a solid object, light cuts less like a laser and more like a stick of warm butter. Which made them perfect toys, but Disney couldn't sell the things because they didn't work like the movie versions."

Alcuard turned the blade, and slowly lowered it towards his forearm. As it drew near, Luca could see the vampire's flesh begin to burn. "It still cuts vampires."

Meanwhile, Fabulo managed to push himself up to a sitting position, and hissed at the crowd still hanging back. "You fools! You outnumber them a hundred to one! Hundreds to one with the serfs, I mean employees! Kill them!"

"Kill those three and we'll provide comprehensive healthcare as part of your employment!" another billionaire in the back screeched.

Luca tried to respond, but the screams and trampling of feet was too loud for the sound to carry to his own ears, he turned to Alcuard, who only shrugged in response and pointed his lightsaber. To his left, Viviana was cracking her knuckles and shaking a can of spray-tan.