At peace

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It took Merlin four long days to recover, he was so exhausted from the ordeal that he slept through two of them and couldn't get up for the next two. Gaius had gotten so worried he wrote to Hunith, telling her Merlin's unwell, which prompted her sudden appearance in Camelot. She arrived on the fourth day of his recovery and it hurt her to see her son in that state, despite his growing stomach he looked like he hadn't eaten in days, he was so thin and weak. His eyes were sunken and the hollows of his cheeks sharper than usual, the skin around his wrists so tight they looked like they were about to snap. Long story short Gaius told Hunith what had happed - she couldn't have been more confounded, happy a new life was to be but not if it came at the cost of her son's. He was too young to die, he still had so much to do, a life to live... seemed cut short by his evergrowing kindness and need to do good. If he were, to be honest with himself he wasn't so proud of his mother seeing him like this, he didn't even speak to her at first, his heart was full of guilt that he hadn't told her sooner. But as mothers do, she forgave him, all she wanted now, was to be with him, to take care of him, to spend all the time in the world with him. Eventually, it became clear the young man wouldn't be able to perform his duties anymore, so, to Merlin's dismay George took over for him and he found himself bored out of his mind.

His mom had gone back to Ealdor after three days, she still had a home to take care of after all, but she said she'd be back in two months, and she would stay for the birth. Which wasn't something Merlin really wanted to think about now... When the idea came to him he fought maybe he'd do better, maybe it wouldn't drain him like it had Arthur, yet slowly but surely he found himself thinking the opposite. He was in constant pain and suffered everlasting weakness, making him feel like death, at this point he had rather gotten used to the idea that he'll be gone.

                                                               ***

It had been three weeks since the incident, they were sitting at the table with Gaius, eating breakfast, or rather, Gaius was. Merlin was sat opposite him hands under the table, his brow knitted together, clenching his jaw, his breathing silent, a face of masked pain tried to conceal itself.

"Are you alright?"

No response.

"Merlin?"

Still nothing, but a single tear fell from his ward's closed eyes, the Physician, anxious walked over to the other side of the table and held him in his arms.

"What's wrong Merlin?"

"Hurts." Came the faint voice.

"It hurts so much Gaius, and it won't stop." The young boy let the tears freely flow down his cheeks.

Gaius kept his hold on his ward and began to gently sway back and forth.

"I know, Merlin, I know, but it won't be much longer now, it'll be over soon." He spoke with the calmest voice he could manage, trying not to think about how it would be over.

                                                                 ***

Since Merlin had begrudgingly given up his job, he didn't really know what else to do, minutes began to feel like hours and hours like days, making him feel like this was lasting much longer than it was supposed to. Although he still found himself hanging out in the royal chambers fairly often, not because of Arthur, but because of Gwen. These days she often asked him to help her pick out what jewelry to wear or which dress looks best or, just to talk - What Merlin thought was him still trying to be useful, in reality, it was just Gwen trying to make her old friend feel better. 'He just looks so sad.' she thought.

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