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Chapter Twenty Five} $kęłętøń

     "Say something," I whisper, "Blaze, talk to me." My words come out all choked up. I struggle to find words as I lose every single one in Blaze's bloodshot eyes. "Please."

     As a tear rolls slowly from the corner of Blaze's eye to her chin, cutting a path on her cheek where the dried blood coats it, the strangest thing happens.

     She lets out a giggle.

     And not like a manic giggle either. A legitimate, happy, giggle. My eyes narrow into slits, confusion knocking me in the head. The glint in her eyes is there, noticeably dancing in her irises. She leans in toward me, her breath tickling my face through a soft smile.

     "Did I scare you?" 

     I let out a long groan, dropping my head between my hands. "Jeez, Blaze, you scared the crap out of me."

     She laughs, making warmth flower in my chest. "Thanks." Blaze says. "It was fun."

     I shake my head, trying to find the words to sum up every emotion I'm feeling right now. Nothing quite feels right, but nothing really feels wrong either. It's all stuck in this ugly grey area, leaving me blank as a sheet.

     "What happened to you?" I ask, squinting to see her more clearly. The longer I look at her, the stranger she becomes. Her mouth is coated with blood, the red staining her teeth crimson and lining her lips in red. A matching color trickles down from her nose, smearing across her upper lip. Her arms are battered with red marks, some looking more blunt, and some more like puncture wounds. My mind flashes back to the spiked club that one of the guards decided to jam into my back. Fun.

Blaze grins, her bloody smile making something in my stomach do a backflip. "I didn't quite cooperate to well." She says, gripping the bars of her cell along with me. The chain of her handcuff clangs, metal against metal ringing throughout the hall. "But I'm alright. I deserve it."

"You really don't," I say, inching my face closer to hers, dropping my voice to a whisper, "you shouldn't have confessed, Blaze. You should've let me do it for you."

Blaze's eyes widen. "Did- did you plead guilty to murdering Aunt Marlee?"

I sigh, chewing on my lower lip. "Yeah. Not that they even cared, though. They had the DNA tests from the blood on Black's body. Anyway, as if that weren't enough, you confessed to it before I could!"

Blaze's smile disappears, leaving her looking tired and... well, like a girl should when she's covered in blood. I hate it. "Why would you do that?"

I know what she's asking. The dumbass already knows I love her; she just wants me to say it out loud. Blaze is annoying in that way- always wanting to prove she's right.

Oh shit, I just described myself.

"I mean, as much as I hate you, I still love you, you know?"

"That was a confusing sentence for me to process."

I sigh, dropping my gaze to the floor. "Listen, you were the only person I actually ever felt like cared about me. I know it was all a plan to murder me and shit, but you also saved my life. I've seen the real side of you, Blaze, and I know you aren't a bad person. I can't let you go to The Graveyard. You'd die in there before you met the halfway point of your time." I know I'm babbling, and I probably make no sense, but I don't care. I don't know how much time I have left before Jansen pulls me away from her, so I'm not about to waste my time wording everything exactly the way it is in my head.

I can't see Blaze, much less know if she understood what I just said. The only thing I hear from her is her soft breathing, warm air brushing on my forehead as I continue to stare at my shoes.

     "Emma?"

     I can't help but hesitate. "Yeah?"

     "Emma, look at me."

Ever so slowly, I trail my eyes up from Blaze's bare feet to her blood-soaked shirt to her reddened eyes. "Okay."

She reaches between the bars of her cell, snaking her hand up to my face and around the back of my neck. "You didn't have to do that, alright?" Blaze whispered, looking directly into my soul. It's as if a string is tied between us, and I can't look away no matter how hard I try. "You don't owe me anything."

I nod slowly, trying my hardest to process everything that's happing around me right now. The hand on the back of my neck, the set of eyes in front of me, the you don't owe me anything.

A few days ago, nobody would have had to tell me that they don't owe me anything. I'd be the one telling them I don't owe them shit. But everything's different now.

Everything's different.

"Okay."

The space between us closes, all air surrounding us sucked away. I have no idea what's going on or what I'm feeling. All I know is the taste of iron on my tongue, the fingers pressed to my neck, and a heat spreading over my cheeks. I know the metal on either sides of my face, the wet feeling of blood on my hands, and that horribly loud voice in my head, screaming at me over and over and over.

STOP! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

The issue is, I don't have a reply.

When I finally decide to pull away, I can't put enough distance between Blaze and I. I back myself up against the wall, my spine pressed to the jet-black paint. My whole face goes a disgusting shade of magenta, and suddenly I can't get enough air into my lungs.

"I- I'm straight," I spit out, trying to say it while looking at Blaze. But I can't. I can't even bring myself to look at her.

She pauses, the expression on her face unreadable. "No you're not."

What an asshole. How could she say that? How could she kiss me? I don't like girls, I don't like girls, I don't like Blaze. "Yes I am!" I shout, finally detaching myself from the wall.

Without a second glance at her, I sprint as fast as my legs will take me down the hall towards the bright pink staircase.

I'm straight, I'm straight, I'm straight, I'm straight, I'm straight, I'm straight, I'm straight, I'M STRAIGHT!

Sure, Emma. Keep telling yourself that.

***

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     Lol I didn't have the mental stability to write this in under a week. Anyway, let me know what you think cause I suck and kissing scenes lmao

     - Shay