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Review: Araknee: The Lost Princess

Review for: ghlo_riyah

Review by: photographygirl3

Book: Araknee: The Lost Princess

Genre: Fantasy

Chapters read: 15
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When I read the first chapter of the story, it hit me. Boom, flow. Everything fits together nicely, smoothly transitions to the next and very, very easy to read. This is exactly what readers look for, so I definitely appreciate this. Nailed it. 

The first chapter is one that probably really interested people. The lack of information of the attack, the quickness of event, the deaths, it all made your readers go, "Oh, shoot." That's a great thing, because your readers want more, they want to see what happens, hence them continually wanting to read more and more. Keep doing this. 

The second thing I noticed was the feeling. Holy moly, do you really get the reader empathy rolling. Olga lost the baby and ran and I know for a fact that probably angered people. Adriana and her parents were killed, in the most brutal ways, it made everyone sad. The way you write brings everyone in for a roller coaster ride of these emotions and they feel them all through the whole story. 

Throughout the dialogue, it's very natural and smooth. I know I say this a lot, but good dialogue is key for a good story. If your characters can't talk right in the story, the plot goes nowhere. Your characters carry the plot, they are the most important. 

Sometimes, I couldn't really tell if a new person was talking or not, so please remember to separate paragraphs every time a new character, action or person talking is introduced. I also noticed in your dialogue your character said "I don't know" which followed by "I answered honestly". Remember to put a comma there so the action afterwards is properly introduced. 

Overall, this story rocked and I can't wait to see your progress as a writer. Thank you for allowing me to review your story! :)

Thank you for requesting here!