Little Writings

Kate, To Sarah

Kate could live with many things, but settling down wasn't one of them. She always felt the need to move, to run, to hide — even after the trial, even after her crimes had been absolved and supposedly based on no real evidence, she couldn't find it in herself to stay in LA. It was too painful.

She wanted to return to Iowa to reconnect with her dying mother. She wanted to have a true, real date with James and leave the past in the past. But those painful memories always flashed behind her eyelids; she couldn't let Jack's toothy smile go quite yet.

James understood, thankfully. With the help of Claire, they'd decided to contact their deceased friends' old family members as a final closure. That would help everyone.

Now, Kate sat in the passenger seat of the car, fingers thrumming along the door handle and eyes flickering over the house. It was a nice, white-bricked home with a green lawn and large flowers adorning the hedges. The clouds sprawling over the sky in thick fingers let a cold chill hover over the ground, frost slicking the green stalks of the garden.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" James asked slowly, face drawn forward. He hesitated, then slung his elbow over the armrest, fingers fitting into Kate's palm.

She smiled softly, heart resting in her chest. "No," she admitted, flicking her chin to the side. He tilted his head. "But it's the right thing to do."

"Didn't know Jack had an ex wife," James snorted, nose scrunching. "I know it's what we should do, but is this lady even gonna want to hear anything from you, Freckles?"

Kate ignored the nickname and decided to sigh instead. "Dunno," she finally said, shrugging. "I guess we'll see. Are you sure you don't want to come in? You and Jack... I know you were close."

James paused, lip twitching. He always did that when he was thinking hard on something. "It should be you," he finally replied after a moment of shared silence. "Jack was my best friend, but you knew him better than I ever did. Both of y'all were in LA together." He turned away, body shuddering. "And me..."

Juliet. Kate hadn't liked the woman at first, especially after being captives of The Others, but she'd saved Claire, all those years ago... she'd stayed with James when Kate hadn't been there — she'd loved him when Kate couldn't. Kate appreciated Juliet, and sometimes wished things could be different. She'd always miss Jack, and there would always be that dull ache in her heart, but she loved James too.

She could accept that she wouldn't ever live up to Juliet, either.

"Hey. You can always visit her family, too." Kate frowned at his dejected expression and puffed out a breath of air. "I'd go with you."

"I know, Puddin'," James chuckled, but there was a deep-rooted pain there. "I just need some time. I ain't quite ready for that yet."

She nodded, pursing her lips. "I understand. This is hard enough, but... you knew Juliet for a long time." James had told her about their three full years spent back in time, living with the DHARMA employees. Kate had only known Jack for two short years and she already hurt — how much pain did James feel? "I hope you know I'm here for you."

James turned to look at her and his eyes sparkled with tears. "Thanks," he murmured, slowly reaching a hand up to smooth his thumb over her cheek. Kate leaned forward and let her lips rest on his, fire spreading through her veins from the touch. It was passion.

"Mm." He released their touch and caressed her wrist. "I'll be out here when you're done. Don't worry about taking too long."

"Okay." Kate breathed in, nerves spiking, and let herself out of the car. A soft drizzle of rain began to wash down on the earth, beads of water clinging to her long hair. Kate shuffled over the yard and ducked under the portico, hugging the gray jacket tighter around her body. She closed her eyes, re-opened them, and knocked.