Chapter #21

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By the end of the evening, Theo and Rayner have gone through Hale's list of upgrades and started determining which ones Theo can build herself and which they'll have to source externally. Rayner spends a good portion of the evening on his laptop, sipping tea and munching on the vegetables Hale cuts up for him. It's frankly a relief for Hale to see him eating food that isn't fried or cooked in eight litres of grease.

Rayner doesn't mention the upgrade Hale had shown an unnatural interest in until he's showered and lying in bed with the lights off.

"So, you didn't put that nervous system upgrade on your list," Rayner says into the darkness.

Hale stiffens. "No."

"Why not?"

"It serves no measurable advantage. It would be a frivolous expense."

There's a small pause. Hale can practically hear Rayner thinking.

"But you want it?"

Gritting his teeth, Hale fights a deluge of frustration and anguish at the word 'want' thrown around so easily. It reminds him of how he wanted to hurt those scrappers. It scares him.

"I simply found it intriguing," he hedges. "I wondered what might compel an android to get such an upgrade, and what it might be like to feel."

"If you're curious, why not get it?"

"Because it's unnecessary," Hale repeats.

"So? Ice cream isn't 'necessary,' I'd be better off eating spinach, but I'm still planning on going next door for some double brownie cookie dough tomorrow."

Hale blows out a breath, his fringe fluttering in his exasperation. He isn't certain why, but the topic leaves him feeling exposed.

"Are you saying I should consider it?"

"I think you deserve to be a little more selfish. You've been through some shit. And if you decide you don't like it, you can always uninstall it." Rayner blows out a wistful breath. "God knows I wish I could do that. Never go through another headache again."

Hale mumbles, "I'll consider it then."

"What's that?"

"I said I'll consider it."

"Yes! And you'll tell me if there's something else you're eyeing up instead of trying to hide it?"

"If you insist..."

Though Hale maintains an air of begrudging acquiescence, a small, neglected part of him thrills at the opportunity to explore something for no logical reason beyond curiosity. He mulls the possibilities over as he plays campfire sounds and waits for Rayner's breathing to even out. In the long hours it takes for Rayner to fall asleep, his heartbeat slowing, Hale wonders what it might be like to press a hand over his symbiont's chest and actually feel that heartbeat. Not as a stream of internal data, but a pulse under his palm.

It is the first night where Hale's last sense before entering rest mode is not fear for his future, but excitement.

The next morning, Rayner buries himself in his laptop again, and Theo ushers Hale into her workshop to begin installing the upgrades she already has on hand. She starts with the protocol rewrite so he won't contact the authorities about Rayner's criminal status. Then she installs the encrypted Network card. Neither takes long, and Hale is impressed by the iron focus and efficiency Theo manages without backup processors for multitasking.

Finally, Hale's Network access is restored. The moment Theo runs the new code, the near infinite well of information comes flooding back, available at Hale's proverbial fingertips. He hadn't realized just how cut off he'd felt until it's there, waiting. He starts downloading the weather predictions, grocery delivery services, maps of their local area. It's a relief to feel useful again.

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