Yellow Paint : A Collection of Midnight Thoughts

Here and There

My absolute favorite song
In the whole world blasts
From the speaker on my bedside table
I laugh as I jump
And dance around my empty room

Here I am the greatest performer to have ever lived
Here is a world untouched by you

Here is where I remembered what it felt like
To be carefree and unburdened
By the weight of your problems
Here is where I cried myself to sleep
And licked my wounds better without you

Here is where I dyed my hair pink
With my best friends
Because I wanted to -
And because you didn't want me to

In my room is where I practiced smiling
At my reflection
Until I felt that it was real
In my room is where I found out that 
My smile had gotten bigger since you left

Here is where I regained my youth
That thing you tried to take from me
With empty promises 
And sweet words

Here is where I realized 
Being mature for my age is a good thing
In small doses
Because I don't want to miss out 
On what I have while it's right in front of me

And sure, here is where I laid in my bed
And I remembered the way you hugged me
Arms wrapped so tightly around my waist
I couldn't breathe in the best way

And I cried when I laughed at the ghosts 
Of your fingertips tickling me 
In the middle of the night

But here is where I realized
I like me better when you're not around
I didn't know the me that existed
When she was with you

She changed when she was out there with you
But here?
She came back 
And lived

I am truly alive because I am here
With my favorite song in the whole world
Playing on the speaker
Dancing around like no one is watching

Waving my pink hair from side to side
I am living unapologetically here
And my glow is so bright now

Maybe even you could bask in it
But you'll have to stay over there