Yellow Paint : A Collection of Midnight Thoughts

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

I often wonder what it would be like to kiss you
What those moments just before would feel like
The look in your eyes, an empty hunger
One thing on your mind - and it is me
You lean forward, just an inch
Just enough to drive me crazy
But I don't move
I'll never move
I'm always too afraid 
I don't want to come off too strong

I can feel your breath on my face now
I notice I can smell it more than I thought I would be able to
That's the thing about breath, I realize, it's just got that smell
And you would think I wouldn't enjoy any of it - but being this close to you...
I absolutely do not care

Your eyes flicker from mine to my mouth, studying my face, remembering every dent and curve
I can feel my heart going wild in my chest now
I can feel yours too
Something tingles in my back and I think to myself
This is it
And then...

It feels like magic
Like a moment I've waited my whole life for
Through awkward kisses on high school dates
And that random dude who was a little too friendly at the bar
I was meant to kiss you

When I wonder
I wonder how long you would kiss me for
I think it would just be a moment
But it would feel like forever
Like the good ones always do

Quick and sweet and perfect
Maybe a little awkward
To sprinkle in some character
Because, let's face it, we're both a little awkward

I wonder what it would be like after
Would you kiss me again?
Would you smile at me?
Would you laugh?
I would probably laugh, not because the kiss wasn't good
But because I can't handle seriousness like that

And because frankly, the whole thing would be a little silly
If you kissed me
I wonder
What would you be to me now?

Are you still my friend?
Are you more?
Are you less?

I guess I'll never know
Because kissing you is something I never got to do
But when I find myself wondering what it would have been like to kiss you
I can't help but think how glad I am that I never did

Getting over you this way was hard enough
But if we had crossed that bridge
If we had met in the middle
If we would have just closed that gap
I think this story
Would have a very different ending