coffee; harry styles

three

we made our way off the elevator and i mentally prepared myself for what was to come. i took some deep breaths and gave myself some mental encouragement, reassuring myself that i didn't really care what jessica thought about me, i just wanted to meet her and find out more about my family. which was something i had never really admitted to myself before.

i guess i was standing in front of the door longer than i thought, because harry cleared his throat. i quickly turned my head around mumbling a quick "sorry" and he nodded his head.

"don't worry love, it's alright. i'm sure this is a lot for you to process, so i'm gonna head inside my flat and give you too some time. i know your grandmother wanted to have a meal tonight, so i'll probably see you then, anna."

the way he said my name made me feel a certain way i've never felt before. maybe it was the accent, or the curly brown hair, or the ink etched into his skin that moved slightly every time his muscles did.

he winked as if he knew what i was thinking about before unlocking the door to his apartment and disappearing inside.

i took another deep breath and knocked on the door. it opened almost too quickly, and there stood a woman, younger than i expected, with open arms to greet me.

"anna, dear, i'm so glad you're here! i'm jessica, and i'm your grandmother. come on in."

i nodded awkwardly and walked inside the apartment, not sure what i was really walking into. the apartment wasn't small, but also wasn't overwhelmingly big. it was covered with knick knacks, plants, and books. there were two bedrooms, a cozy kitchen and living room, and a small balcony overlooking the street and the park across from it.

"wow this is beautiful," i mumbled, scanning my eyes around the room. jessica walked up to me and set her hand on my back, which made me jump.

"sorry i-"

"darling, i completely understand. you don't know me, and it's going to take some time. but that's why i invited you here. i want to get to know you."

she gave me a warm smile and walked into the kitchen, taking a kettle off of the stove. "tea or coffee, darling?"

i shrugged my shoulders.

"i feel like because i'm in england i'm supposed to say tea, but i could really go for some strong coffee right now. i take mine black."

"nonsense, i myself prefer coffee from time to time. take a seat on the sofa and i'll bring it over to you in a quick minute."

i nodded and made my way onto the sofa, setting my bag on the floor next to me. i sat with my hands awkwardly in my lap, not really sure what to say. seconds later she had a cup of coffee in her hand to hand to me. i thanked her and she sat down on the chair across from me, opening up a photo album.

"so first things first," she started, "i think i should show you some photos of your mum. i don't have any of your father because i didn't really know him, and what i did know about him, let's just say i wasn't a fan."

i let out a quiet laugh and took a sip from my cup, scooting to the edge of the couch to get a good view of the album. honestly, i was in shock. as she flipped though the pages, i realized just how much my mother looked like me. i felt a bit nauseous and overwhelmed at the fact that i'd probably never get to meet her.

"snap out of it, anna" i told myself.

"your mother was a good girl up until she met your father. i suppose it was partly my fault, i was always busy working and never had time to check on who she was spending her time with." i could see a frown appear on her face, her expression turning from a feeling of happiness to a feeling of deep sorrow.

"she just left one day. out of nowhere. she left a note saying she was in love and needed to get away. we tried everything to find her, but we had no luck. when she turned eighteen, there was really nothing we could do about it."

"have you spoken to her since?"

the words came out of mouth so quickly i didn't even have time to think about them. i wasn't sure if i really wanted to know the answer or not. she nodded her head and looked over at me. i could tell she was taking pity on me.

"i did, once. that's how i found out about you. she told me she had gotten pregnant in the states and given the baby up. her plan was for you to get adopted. when i found out, i was devastated. i could've saved you from a life of moving from home to home. i could've raised you as my own. but she didn't give me the chance."

a single tear slid down her face and i watched her wipe it away before completely changing her expression to one of happiness again. she stood up.

"i'll be happy to talk more later, but for now, why don't you get comfortable? we have a few hours until i plan to make dinner. you can shower, take a nap, whatever you'd like. make yourself at home."

i nodded and stood up from the sofa as she led me to the room i would be staying in. she showed me where the bathroom and towels were, and stood at the bedroom door.

"dinner is at 6 and harry and his mother will be joining us. i have dinner with them quite often since my husband died, and they're wonderful company. how did your trip from the airport go? harry is wonderful, isn't he?"

i laughed, shaking my head.

"he's uh, something. what's his last name by the way?"

she smiled before beginning to shut the door. right before the door closed, she answered.

"his name is harry. harry styles."