Whose Fault? (Editing)

Chapter Twenty-Five

"Good morning, Ms. Matthews. How are you today?" He asked me, but he didn't seem interested in knowing. He just seemed like he wanted to get to what he needed to say and what he would be doing, but he had to act friendly.

"I'm fine. Thank you."

"As you're already aware, Callie has congenital hearing loss that was caused by the complications when she was born. We're going to finish up the other two tests that we didn't get to last time, so we can uncover the extent of it."

I nodded and he explained further what the tests were, what they tested for, and how they were done. When he finished telling me about them, we got started.

It was a little bit more than an hour later when they finished with the tests. I was told that when they got the results, they would send it over to the pediatrician who could go over them with me at Callie's next appointment.

~~~

I quickly settled into a simple routine. When Callie was sleeping, I would study and do class work. She still slept a lot, but the amount of time was getting a little less each day. For now, I was able to complete my work as she slept and could still spend every moment she was awake with her.

She moved around a little. She moved her arms up and down a tiny bit and she kicked her legs when she fussed. There had been changes in her eye color, small ones, but I could tell. They weren't as blue as they were before, the color didn't bother me though. I thought it was so weird at first that the color was changing, but now I just couldn't wait to see what I'd get to look into every day. I still found myself talking and singing to her, even though there was a chance she might not hear me. I couldn't find it in me to feed into a world of silence.

On Tuesday and Thursday nights I would take Callie with me to Max's house for dinner. We would be there for a few hours, just long enough for us to catch up a bit, to eat, watch a movie, and for Max to spend some time with Callie. I always looked forward to it as it got me out of the house and I enjoyed seeing Max interact with Callie.

So far, he had taken me up on my offer to have him over every weekend. Max would come over on Friday's after he got done at work and stayed through Sunday afternoon, sometimes evening. I didn't mind. I enjoyed having the company, it distracted me from my thoughts for a while.

Eli had been on my mind a lot recently. It hurt to think about him; all of my memories with him were a bit sour now, but it felt wrong to think that there wouldn't be any more. It was a heartbreak I forced myself through over and over again because I just couldn't stop my thoughts.

I still didn't feel safe living at the house. If I had any free time after I finished my school work in which Callie was sleeping, I would look online into places that were renting out. I had found a few places where the prices were reasonable, but I wasn't sure if it was a good time to move yet. I was just getting back into the swing of things, moving in the middle of that process would throw it all off.

"What's on your mind?" Max asked me as we sat down to eat, "you're awfully quiet today."

I took a moment to answer him. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I just didn't know where to start. "Do you think it would be a good time to move?"

"No time is a good time to move. Why?"

"I just - I don't feel safe in the house anymore. I haven't for a while, since before Callie was born. But the timing hasn't been right."

He considered what I said then told me, "if you don't feel safe, then the sooner you move the better. Is it because of the stuff with Xavier?"

I nodded in reply, "whether he was hiding things around my house or not, it wouldn't change anything. I don't think it's a good environment for me. I've been looking, but I don't know."