Whose Fault? (Editing)

Chapter Two ✔

Nothing is worse than wanting to flop down on your bed and pass out after a long day at work, yet not being able to. It was crazy busy due to it being karaoke night and we were short bussers so I had to do two jobs at once. I wanted nothing more than to sleep, but I needed to get a head start on course work. I didn't want there to be any chance that I got behind since I was scheduled to work all weekend. Sighing as I sat at the desk outside my room, I began working.

It was hours later when I reached a point where I felt was a safe stopping point. The most difficult thing about taking all these classes at once was that there was always some assignment for me to do or work on, especially with the more "general education" requirement classes. After putting my materials and textbooks away, I picked up my phone and saw I had a text.

Eli: wanna meet up tomorro? finish the project?

I tried to ignore the frustration that was growing at the change in my plans that I had mentally made for my day, locked the phone, and lightly tossed it on my bed. I wanted to lounge around in the morning until the last possible minute then get ready for work before taking on a double shift. Unfortunately, that wouldn't happen now. I knew I had to agree, otherwise we'd never have the chance to complete our current project before it's due.

I changed into an oversized t-shirt then plopped onto my bed face down with my head in my pillows. I groaned and laid there for a few minutes before blindly fumbling around for my phone. Lifting my head up once I found it, I texted Eli back.Only realizing after I sent it that it was 2 in the morning. Oh, he's going to hate me.

Me: sure, as long as you're an early bird. I have to work at 11.

The next morning, my breathing was heavy as my eyes snapped open. I tried to keep my mind busy by reciting song lyrics in my head and counting down from 30 simultaneously. It didn't work at first but eventually I was able to steady my breathing. I made my way into the bathroom to splash some water on my face, then returned to my room to make the bed.

When I was finished I reached for my phone to check the time, but instead got distracted by Eli's response to the message I sent him.

Eli: hey partner! want to meet up at 9? your place or mine?

Oh, he's a happy morning person. Before responding, I checked the time. 8:27.

Me: That works. Your place?

Eli replied, confirming our plans and we worked out some details for getting together, then I got ready for the long day ahead of me. I started by looking through my closet for an outfit to wear and laid it out on my bed. Then I connected my phone to the bluetooth speaker and took a quick shower. As I shampooed, conditioned, and washed, I got lost in my thoughts. My mind got stuck on past mistakes and embarrassments that I couldn't shake away. I did my best to ignore them, to make them stop, but like always, I didn't succeed.

It made every little thing ten times harder to do. I found myself making little goals to achieve just to get through the steps it took to get into the car. My motivation was long gone and I forced myself through the tasks I needed to complete and avoided sitting or lying down on any furniture. Just cancel. But I couldn't. If I canceled, how would our project get done, how much of a shitty partner would that make me? Not to mention how I would even go about typing up that text.

So, I willed my body to move, finish showering, get dressed, eat something. I went through the motions while all I could think was I hate this. I don't want to do this anymore.

Before I knew it, the alarm I'd set telling me to leave was going off. Groaning, I quickly grabbed my shirt for work, threw it in my backpack, and headed out to the Jeep. Once the backpack was thrown into the passenger seat and I had the directions to Eli's house pulled up, I slammed my head onto the steering wheel and took a few deep breaths to mentally prepare myself for the long day ahead of me then pulled out of the driveway and headed to Eli's.