Whose Fault? (Editing)

Chapter Twenty-Three

No.

No!

NO!

It began to get difficult to breathe, I could feel the hot tears trickling down my face, and the panic set in. I'm going to lose her. I didn't even have her yet.

"85 seconds." Just then they had finished unwrapping the cord from her neck. My vision started to go in and out, but I tried to maintain focus on the images of medical personnel across the room.

The panic got worse. Like always, I couldn't feel my fingers or my hands. I couldn't catch my breath, like there wasn't enough oxygen in the air. But in the moment I didn't care. All I cared about was if my baby girl was breathing or not.

She's gonna die! She's dying!

I cried out from the heartbreak I was feeling amongst the panic. The ache in my chest was so intense, I barely noticed that someone had placed an oxygen mask over my face. When did that happen?

"102 seconds."

I wanted to scream. I had lied before. This pain was worse than that of giving birth. She was dying and I couldn't help her. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even keep her safe in my own body.

The only thing that mattered to me in those moments was what those doctors were doing to save her. I heard murmurs between them, most likely not wanting to put me under more stress. One of them moved and I caught a glimpse of a small mask like mine over the shape of her face before they moved back. They were trying to help her figure out how to breathe on her own and I kept glancing between them and the clock obsessively.

"120," I muttered under my breath. Please, please! She's the only thing I've got left. Waterfalls of tears were flowing down my face, don't take her from me too. My heart broke more and more at each second that passed.

At 169 seconds, a cry came from her mouth and I couldn't have been more relieved. I knew there was a very high chance that there would be complications, but it calmed me to know that none of them were going to be life-threatening or shortening.

The doctors made sure her breathing was stable before weighing and measuring her. I couldn't take my eyes off of the spot where I knew she was. All I wanted was to hold her in my arms.

It was about an hour before they brought her over to me, but it seemed like a lifetime. I was just itching to have her in my arms. When she was given to me, I finally felt like I could relax. Tears continued to flow from my eyes, but out of relief this time.

It was almost like a dream; I couldn't believe she was there in my arms. I held her head steady on my chest and leaned down to gently place so many kisses all around her small face. "I can't believe you're here," I whispered to no one in particular.

"You're very brave." Max told me. I looked over to him to see an expression of awe on his face. He reached up to wipe the tears off of mine, then reached for my hand, "and I'm so extremely proud of you."

The smile that lit up my face couldn't have been gotten bigger than it was in that moment, "thank you." I looked back towards my baby girl and I fell so deeply in love with her, more so than anybody else. She had about half an inch of dark hair on her head and was sound asleep. Her small, round face was all scrunched up and her mouth was slightly open.

As I was admiring her, Max softly asked, "so? What's her name?"

I didn't look up towards him to give him my answer. I knew what it was from the second I had her in my arms, "Callie. Callie Rae."