Love You, Weasel

My New Life

'One minute I'm walking home from school, not giving a shit about what anyone else is doing, and the next, I'm being gunned down by some crazy with a gun who's screaming about how women don't like him and shit.

I don't remember how many times I was hit, but I remember not being able to feel after a while and people screaming. Then everything faded to black. I remember thinking that this was the end, but at least I got to go to Disneyland the week before. Probably not what I should have been thinking about, but whatever.

Now I'm in a tight and dark place. I'm trying to stretch but I can't. I keep trying to move, but I can't. Where the fuck am I!?

I keep turning, kicking, and trying to punch, but I feel like I can't move my body right. It's funny. I think I've read way too much fanfiction. This is crazy, but what if I've been reborn? If that's the case, then that means I can pretend to be a genius! Awesome!

I wonder how long I've been here. I've had to have been here a while. Wait. Why does it feel like I'm moving!? HOLLY FUCK! AM I BEING BORN! WHATS TOUCHING MY HEAD! WHY DOES THIS FEEL SO WEIRD? AMD I CRYING?'

"It's a girl," said a male voice.

'How am I able to tell that it's a male, I'm not sure. It might have to do with the fact that I'm not the age I'm supposed to be mentally,' thought a female as she feet herself being moved around.

"What are you two going to name her?" said another male voice.

"Haruka," said a female voice.

'I'm going to guess that this is my mother,' thought the newborn as she felt herself being wrapped up and passed to someone else.

"Haruka Uchiha. That's the perfect name for her," said the second male.

'WAIT! Did he just say Uchiha? A coincidence? Maybe? But could I really be in the world of Naruto? And if so, where in the timeline am I? FUCK! IS ITACHI GOING TO KILL ME!? WAIT!' thought the newly named Haruka as she started to cry harder.

"It's okay my little princess. Everything is alright," said one of the male voices as.

'I'm guessing my father. But why is he saying that?'

"She must feel weird. I'll go clean her up if you two want," said the other male voice.

'Oh! I must be crying harder than I thought!'

"Thank you doctor," said the female voice. She then gave her newborn child to the man.

'What is going on? I guess I'll just have to wait it out. I have to go through puberty again! Fuck my life! But, if I did end up in Naruto, maybe I can change some things, though that does depend on where I ended up in the timeline,' thought Haruka as she was carried away to be cleaned. 'Only time can tell.'