I Amuse Him ✔️

Everything was still

"You told me, you love me, but as a friend and to be honest Mr. Hunter Donnavan. I was fine with it. I was fine being your friend, but it was so damn hard for you to keep it in your pants for, I don't know, A DAY? And even if it was HARD. Couldn't you makeout with Jasmine, somewhere else than right. in. my. FACE?" Now I was getting loud. My eyes are runny, my voice is shaky and there are a lot of hand gestures going on.

"Just a day after I told you, I LO...... forget it" There were cries and agony in my voice. Hunter was just standing where I pushed him and looking at me. " I know, I KNOW, I shouldn't have kissed you. I know but than.....WHY THE FUC* DID YOU KISS ME BACK AND WHY THE FUC* YOU IGNORED ME FOR WEEKS?" I looked straight at him with red angry eyes.

"You IGNORED me for two weeks. You didn't even LOOK at me properly. And now you have the guts to come in my room and tell me that NOW YOU WANT ME?" I screamed for the first time with tears dripping down my neck and now soaking my loose T-shirt.

"Danny I-" I put my hand up for him to see and he immediately stopped between. I saw his face. He looked hurt and that was hurting me. Giving him pain was making me miserable. But I can't take this anymore. It feels like I am some garbage. That he can treat anyway he wants.

I signed hard with my mouth slightly ajar. "Get out." I said in a very low volume, looking at him while his face turned into sadness and a lot of guilt. I feel like I haven't said enough. I haven't told him everything that I have felt over the days but I know that I don't want to tell him either.

"Danny I am so sorry please li-" "Daniella! for you." This was Hunter's last straw. He looked at me and gulped real hard.

Within seconds he was out of my room. And maybe my life too.

.....................................................

"You sure, you want to do this?"

"Yes. I am." I said with a sign. As I told her for the hundredth time.

"Don't you think it's a little to early for this?"

"No and I have already said yes." I said looking to her face. "You can always cancel?" She said or asked in a way that now I actually want to cancel. Oh what the hell Destiny ! Let me go on a date with Jake.

Let me reignite the lost flame that is my eternal love for this guy who is sweet enough to actually understand his feelings for me at the right time, which some people never did.

I really want to put all these things behind me but people are not letting me. It's been weeks since I talked to Hunter and days since I last saw him. From outside I show everyone that I am fine but on the inside I am scared and guilty.
Scared because I don't know how he is and what he is doing and guilty because I think I was really mean and rude to him that night.

Kyle told me he is not talking to him or any of the guys. He is either at his salon or his house which I don't know when because his bedroom lights didn't turn on since....that night.

Each day I wake up with the thought of putting everything aside and doing every work that needs to be done but so far all I have done is getting up everyday with a slouchy face, getting ready which is only wearing a t-shirt and jeans and going to school. When did I become like this? Isn't being in love supposed to be all sunshine and butterflies?

All I have been through is headache, heartburn and swollen eyes. Like seriously this is, this is not healthy. I wasn't out of line for saying all that to Hunter, right?

Maybe shouldn't have pushed him.

And could talk in a lower volume.

Or could not use the F word so much.