Heart to Hart ✔️

21. Summer rain

Once the numbness faded, I was angry. No, angry wasn't a strong enough word, I was furious. How dare he just walk away when I had done nothing wrong. I wasn't with Alec when I slept with Max. I was single. Max was single. Even Joana had no right to make me feel guilty for what happened. If she wanted to take it out on someone, then she could do that with Max. He was the one that broke their promise. It wasn't my promise to break.

Did I feel sorry for Joana? Of course, I did. In her situation, who's to know how I would have reacted. I could still picture the pain on her face, the look of despair in her eyes when she found out Max withheld the whole truth from her.

Sian and Rosie stayed by my side as I stood there staring into the distance, where Alec's car once was. I mentally gave myself a shake and walked into the cabin towards the fridge, grabbed a chocolate bar I had hidden at the back and found a share size packet of Doritos, in the cupboard.

Everyone else pretended to busy themselves. They stood scattered around the room, throwing furtive glances my way. They didn't fool me as their conversations hadn't picked up. The quick whispers were irritating. I stormed over to the phone and portable speaker they used to play music and cranked the volume up loud enough to drown them out.

I flopped down onto the sofa, head back on one side, and rested my feet on the other. I unwrapped my chocolate bar and bit a large chunk off. Next, I ripped the bag of crisps open, grabbed a handful of them and ungracefully shoved them in my mouth. Rosie sat on the coffee table, facing my side, and prised the bag out of my hands.

I yanked it off her and took another handful.

"Stop. You're stress eating," she said as she snatched it back.

"I'm not. I'm hungry," I sighed and pushed myself up into a seated position and placed my feet to the side of Rosie on the coffee table.

Rosie raised her eyebrows, letting me know I couldn't dupe her. We might not have been close growing up, but we were still sisters. She had seen me reach for food as soon as I was upset. It was one of the reasons I ran so often. Running was my new coping mechanism, and I hadn't gone on one this morning with the trip. If we weren't in an unfamiliar location, and it wasn't so dark outside, I would have probably gone for one there and then.

"Okay. I might just go to bed." I waved goodnight to the gang and made my way up the stairs.

After stripping out of my clothes, I pulled on a pair of sleep leggings, a T-shirt and the hoodie I had just removed. Not wanting to face everyone again by using the downstairs bathroom, I abandoned any idea of washing my face. I brushed my teeth and used a water bottle I brought up with me to rinse my mouth out. I spat the swill into the toilet.

Once I peed and flushed, I shut the washroom cupboard. Luckily, my hand sanitiser was in my backpack and not in the handbag I had left on the kitchen counter. My phone, however, was in that handbag, so I couldn't check if Alec had tried to call me, or if he was planning on coming back tonight.

Wrapping up in the duvet of the double sofa bed, I tossed from side to side and willed my body to give in to sleep.

Without a watch or my phone to check the time, I had no idea how long I lay there, staring at the sky through the VELUX window. The creaking of the bedroom door startled me, but I didn't turn towards it as the bed dipped on my right side.

Whoever sat there hesitated before they spoke, "Nat, are you okay? Of course, you're not. What a stupid question. Look, if you want to go home, I'll drive you in the morning. You just have to ask."

I rolled towards their voice and stared at Andy, who looked down at me. The sparse moonlight, breaking through the clouds, bounced off his face, illuminating the whites of his eyes.