The Emmanuel Sisters

Chapter 15 The Advocates

When Faith is Lacking
Faith thought, it seemed as if they had been on the road for hours, and in fact they had. So far there was no sign of anyone. Faith and Darryl's escorts decided it was time to set up camp for the night. It was starting to get dark. They found an agreeable spot and started setting up. Faith heard the escorts talking about the fire-watch schedule while they were setting up tents. Darryl was helping the men set up and Faith was starting a fire. The men had brought meal rations for all of them to eat. But Faith thought that even pre-packaged meal rations taste better when they're warm. While Faith worked on getting a fire started, she watched Darryl and the other men set up, and her thoughts started to drift back about the first time she was in Africa.
When she was just a child her parents took her with them to Africa. Faith and her adopted parents had been in Africa, for over a year, before her grandmother died. Faith had made many friends with the other children in the village. Those friends had become like brothers and sisters to Faith, and they had helped her through the pain of coping with the lost of her Nana and sisters.
Years later when Faith was back home in the states she found out about the destruction of her mother's village. She wondered how her little friends died. If they screamed out for their own mothers before they were murdered. Rationally, she knew there was nothing she could have done to save them. She was only ten when the village was destroyed, and she was home in America with her family when they heard the news. However, rationale thinking did not pierce through the aching pain in her heart. Faith always thought, "if only they could have got on that plane with us. If only we didn't leave them behind. If only we didn't abandon them to come back home and be safe in America, while they faced death."
For a long time Faith blamed her parents for not doing more and she blamed herself. This guilt, however misplaced, developed into something more. Faith began to make it her mission in life to save the ones she could, to make up for the ones she couldn't save in her past.
Throughout her travels around the world, Faith had seen many horrible sights. She had seen young babies dying from malnutrition and young girls raped and mutilated. She had come upon whole villages destroyed. She had seen young mothers' breasts cut off by rebels to keep them from nursing, and babies delivered out of mothers stomachs by butchers. All of these things Faith had witnessed and all these things she kept to herself, never telling her parents, and never telling Darryl. She chose to focus on the ones that she was able to rescue, instead of the ones she had lost.
But in reality Faith was carrying all those lost children in her heart, and the burden was becoming almost too great for her to carry alone anymore. She could hardly sleep anymore. The nightmares and the nameless faces she had come across in her travels kept her up at night. All of that should have made her want to quit her job at SACAA. Even now she couldn't stop thinking about what her and Darryl might find when they finally found the orphans. She couldn't bear to think about what they might find. The memories of her murdered friends, back when they were happy and alive, kept her doing her job. She felt she owed it to them; they didn't have anyone trying to save them back then, so now she would save as many as she could in their memory.
Darryl came over and sat next to Faith, by then she was staring intensely into the fire. He wondered what was on her mind.
"A penny for your thoughts?"
"Darryl there's something I have to tell you. There are many terrible things I've seen rebels like this do, all over the world. I just want to warn you that you might see things that will haunt you.
"Don't worry about the children, we will find them Nene. I believe we will find them alive and well."
"I'm glad you're optimistic Darryl. I wish I could be. We have been driving around for hours and we haven't seen or heard anything yet. What makes you think we will find them, and if we do, what makes you think we will find them alive?"
"I know we will find them, because I have faith, faith in God. He has never let me down before. He will come through for us, you'll see."
"What makes you think God will come through for us? What about all the times and all the other people in the world he hasn't come through for, Darryl? What makes our predicament, our problems, anymore significant or important than anyone else's problems in the world? I tell you what Darryl, I learned a long time ago to put my faith in two things, that what can go wrong, probably will go wrong, and if you want to fix what's wrong in this world, you've got to get out there and fix it yourself. So that's what I put my faith in, myself. What I'm afraid of is this may be one of those situations where I just can't fix it."
Faith paused while she processed her thoughts. Debating questions like this was something her and Darryl often did. But this time the debate was more real for both of them, no longer hypothetical. "Darryl really, what is "faith", besides a word, oh and besides "my name", what is it really?"
"Faith, is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen."
"Darryl, those are pretty words, but exactly what is that even suppose to mean?"
"I can't explain it to you Nene. You either have it, "Faith" or you don't, but God gives all of us a portion of it, and the ability to exercise it. We have free  so it's up to us to believe, to have faith and to grow stronger in it. You need it if you are going to trust in God, and believe that God loves you and will help you out in situations that are out of your own control. I believe in God's goodness as much as I believe we are meant to be together. It's easy for me, somehow I just don't have doubts."
Faith wished she could be more like Darryl. She repeated what he said to herself. "hmm, Faith, is the substance
of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen. Well, I'm glad one of us has it, and maybe I'll get some credit for it too, since it is my namesake after all."
Darryl smiled at her, and he gave her a gentle kiss on her cheek. He always prayed that one day she would come to have the same faith that he had in God, but he knew, ultimately, it was up to her to make the decision that she would believe.
Then something startled them. It sounded like gun shots coming from the west. The military escorts that were with them hurried over. They told them to put out the camp fire. Then they moved the two military jeeps into the rear of some foliage where they would hopefully go undetected. They quickly set up a perimeter, with Faith and Darryl in the rear. Everything was happening so suddenly. Faith felt like her head was spinning. It seemed like they had gotten themselves hidden within seconds before the caravan of rebels appeared. They saw several vehicles speed by, with rebels contained in all of the vehicles. Darryl thought to himself, that some of the rebels looked younger than junior high students, and they were all toting rifles bigger than themselves. It seemed as if the caravan was passing by without even noticing they were hiding. Not one vehicle paused. There were four vehicles in the caravan. In the second vehicle, it was clearly visible that there were children, little girls and boys without any rebel uniforms on, but they did have on identical white shirts and blue pants.
Faith's heart jumped when she saw the children. She recognized the SACAA uniforms they were wearing. They were alive. The only problem was, "how were they going to get them back when they were being held by the rebels?" Darryl, Faith and the military officers stayed hidden for what seemed like forever to Faith. All Faith wanted to do was to get up and just start running after those vehicles and towards the children. Thoughts raced through her head. She thought the soldiers that were escorting them were waiting too long to pursue the rebels. They would lose the rebels and the children if they didn't follow after them soon. She thought the rebels would end up killing the children before they got to them. One fear after another fear, one panicked thought after another panicked thought, cluttered and compounded in her head. Finally the scout that the Commander
sent out returned. He was the fastest runner in the group and had followed the caravan as far as he could. He reported that the rebels did not expect they were hiding and were not heading back to their location. He said he never saw a vehicle leave the caravan, and the direction they were heading in was to the north. The scout said it would be very easy to track the vehicles if they started now, but the Commander disagreed.
The Commander felt they should go back to the base camp for reinforcements. He said, "it's too risky to pursue them because we have no idea how many men the rebel force had back at their camp, or how much firepower they possessed."
Faith was frantic. "Commander, we can't go back now! Didn't you see, they have the children with them?"
"I saw the children, but we are only on a scouting mission. If we found the children wandering lost then we would bring them in, but this is an entirely different situation. The children are hostages, and we are not equipped to raid a rebel camp with the small group we have here."
Faith knew what the commander said was true. She was an intelligent woman, but her passion made her act and think irrationally at times.
"You said they didn't detect us. So, why can't we send radio communication about the rebels' location, and still continue to follow the tracks before we lose them?"
"The rebels have most likely compromised the airways and they would pick up on any message we sent out by radio. I'm sorry, Ms. Faith, but, the best thing to do is to go back for reinforcements. Now that we are positive the children are hostages, we also know that most likely the SACAA and UN forces are being held as hostages also."
Faith wanted to cry she could not see how it would be possible for them to get the children out safely if they turned back now, not when they were in the hands of ruthless rebels. She had seen the handiwork of similar rebels who killed their own people for what seemed like sport and all in the name of some political or religious cause.
Darryl could see how distress Faith was and he wanted more than anything to help her, so he came up with an idea. "How about you send one vehicle back for the reinforcements, and the other vehicle can continue to follow the rebels tracks. Maybe if you try during night fall you could free the children without being detected. If not you could just wait for reinforcements to return. What do you think?"
The Commander was becoming frustrated. "I don't like the idea of leaving anyone out here without being able to communicate with them. Like I already explained we can't risk radio communications because the airways have been compromised."
"Faith and I have two international cell phones. I believe they also have text capability. So even if we can't call each other we can still text each other messages between the two phones. One vehicle can take one phone, and the vehicle that stays back can keep the other."
The Commander reluctantly agreed because he also had the same fears as Faith; that the children would soon be dead if they didn't act soon.
"I guess we could try that, but it will be dangerous. Therefore, I will stay back with my sharpshooter. The rest of you, I'm sending back to base camp. I hope, good doctor that these phones work as you say they do."
Faith was relieved the Commander was sending a convoy after the children, but she didn't want to go back without them. "I'd rather stay back with you Commander. I want to follow the children. They are my responsibility, since they are considered under the care of SACAA."
The Commander objected without any hesitation to Faith staying behind. "What good can a woman do us now but maybe a doctor could be of good use to us."
Darryl knew by the looks of things that medical care may be needed. "You're right, I'll stay back with you Sir. If you think you and the children might need my help."
Now Faith was furious. "Darryl, you can't stay back! You're not in the military!"
"Neither are you Faith, but you risk your life all the time doing this job, for the children. Look, I didn't understand before Faith, but after seeing their little faces pass by in those trucks, and seeing them all chained together like cattle, well now I understand how you must feel. Who knows maybe God has brought me on this trip with you for just this purpose."
Faith felt overwhelmed with dread. She thought to herself, "what have I gotten Darryl into. He is a peaceful man. He doesn't have a combative bone in his body, and now because of me he is out here in the middle of nowhere, without any combative training getting ready to possibly face some of the most ruthless men in the world. What have I done?" She knew at that moment if anything happened to Darryl she would never forgive herself. She also knew that there was no changing his mind once he had made it up, but she still had to try.
The Commander was anxious to get on with things and follow the rebels' caravan. He motioned to his men and to Darryl. "So it's decided, we better get going."
"Can I have just one private moment with my fiancée Commander?", pleaded Faith.
"Of course, but it has to be just a moment. If we're going to do this we need to do it now."
Faith grabbed her knapsack and walked off a little ways with Darryl. She turned to Darryl. "I'm so sorry I got you involved in all this...."
"Faith it's not your..."
Faith interrupted him right away and said, "please Darryl, let me finish. We don't have much time. You know how much I love you, and I honestly can't understand why I've put off marrying you for this long, but Darryl I couldn't go on without you, if, if....", then she fell to her knees, and she started crying and pleading with him not to go.
Faith rarely cried and Darryl couldn't take it when she did. He had known her for so long that whenever she did cry he still saw that little five year old girl he met years ago and, it broke his heart. "Faith, Nene, my sweet Nene, please don't cry Nene. Please don't cry. I promise you, I will come back. I have to go, I have to..., I feel as if God wants me to, but I promise you I'm coming back."
Faith knew her attempts to change his mind would fail, but she had to try anyway. "I knew you wouldn't change your mind. Darryl please keep your promise and come back to me, and when you come back I'm asking you now, will you marry me?" She waited for her answer on bend and knee. Never had she imagined, she would be the one doing the formal proposing.
She didn't care about her pride, or the fact that she probably had an audience of amused men watching her from behind. All she knew was she had a revelation, and the revelation was life without Darryl just wasn't worth living. She knew without anymore doubts she wanted him, till death do them part. "Darryl, you are my one true and only love, and I've been a selfish fool. Please forgive me and marry me." And as she was talking she reached in her knapsack and gave him a gold metal case. The case was as large as a wallet.
Darryl was a little stunned and his heart was filled with so much love for Faith. "Yes, of course, I will. You know marrying you is what I've wanted more than anything for so long." Then he pulled her up to him and he kissed her. When their lips parted he told her that he would marry her right then if he could. Darryl noticed something familiar about the case she was holding in her hand. He realized it was his deceased mother's travel jewelry box that she carried with her whenever they went on vacations. The gold box had been handed down to his mother from her mother, and her mother's mother, and so on. Darryl had always assumed that his father held on to his mother's jewelry and her little box as well. He never imagined Faith had it.
"Faith when did she give that to you?"
"The day before she died. I was waiting for the right time to show it to you. I think now is the right time. Darryl your mother gave me her wedding ring. She said she knew that I was destined to be your wife one day, and she wanted me to wear her band when we married. She said she always thought she would live to see the two of us married and giving her grandchildren, but since it didn't look like she would live that long, she wanted a piece of her to be with us, and be a part of our marriage."
Darryl remembered that at his mother's funeral he thought something was missing, something that he couldn't put his finger on when he held her hands for the last time as she laid lifeless in that casket. Now he knew what was missing was her wedding ring. When Faith opened the box, Darryl saw there were two rings, not just his mother's ring, but his father's ring was also in the box.
Faith looked at him and already knew what he was thinking, "Your father told me that in your mother's Will she wanted her ring to be left to me. He knew she had given it to me already, before she died. So he told me he figured what was the point of holding on to his ring till death. After the funeral he gave me his ring, and told me whenever we got married to give it to you. It was like they had no doubts that we would end up together. I use to find it overwhelming, that both your parents were so positive we would be together, but now I know they had something I didn't have, faith. What did you say it was, the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Darryl maybe I don't have the kind of faith you have, in humanity, in God, but I do have faith in you. So I want you to hold on to this box and our rings. Keep your promise to me, and come back to me with those rings, because I don't want to just hold on to them anymore. I'm ready for us to put them on our fingers."
The Commander was motioning to Darryl to wrap things up so that they could be on their way. Darryl didn't want to leave Faith, but in his heart he knew it was what he had to do.
"I'll be back, with the rings and the children Nene. I promise."
Then the two of them parted. As their jeeps drove away in opposite directions and the distance between them grew, both of them felt their love and their souls and their spirits grow closer together than ever before. After a while Faith thought she couldn't tell anymore where he began and where she ended. He was a part of her, and her a part of him. She knew for sure that if she lost him she would fall apart.
The Commander looked back at Darryl with compassion and he said, "rest assure you will see her soon, and honestly I can't wait to see her again myself."
Darryl looked at him with curiosity and asked, 'why can't you wait to see her, Sir?"
The Commander answered, "just to make fun of her. I mean only an American woman would get on her knees and beg a man to marry her. I've never seen anything like it, so desperate. You must have really put some mojo on her man.
"But she'll probably deny doing it once she sees you've come back to her safe and sound."
As Faith rode back to the military base in the second vehicle she was thinking out loud to herself. "There is nothing I can do to help Darryl or the children now. Those children are my responsibility not Darryl's and now I'm also responsible for putting him in danger."
Denzel, Faith's military escort, had known Faith for many years through her work with SACAA. Faith had traveled back and forth to his country several times, and each time he had been assigned as her escort. She always talked very openly about her life in America, and about her man, Darryl. He knew how much she loved Darryl, and the children that she came here for, year after year. "I know I am but a mere man of war and not an expert on religion, but even so at times like this I look to the bible when I'm discouraged and I think of David, because he was also a man of war, much like me."
Faith looked up happy to have Denzel there to talk to. "David who?"
"David, is the man that God described as, "a man after his own heart "
David was a shepherd boy, a courageous warrior, a King, a poet and of course a man who feared God. The one thing David always did, whether he was sinning or being a righteous man, was, he prayed. Whether he was mourning or joyful, fighting or losing a battle, he prayed. When David could not fight, when he felt lost, when he felt defeated, when he felt ashamed, he still prayed. So there is always something you can do in those times when you feel as if you can't do anything. You can always pray, Ms. Faith."
"Denzel, I didn't know you were a religious man."
"I wouldn't call myself religious, but I do believe in God and his Word. Although, I don't read as much of the bible as I should and I haven't been to church in a very long time. Still God is inside of me, don't be so surprise Ms. Faith, yep, God is everywhere even in the places you least expect."
"But Denzel, I'm not like you, I'm one of those people who are not sure what they believe in."
Maybe so, but I'm sure God believes in you, he knows how good your heart is and of the good work you do. I believe He listens to his children with good hearts."
Finally, they arrived at the base camp. Denzel reported in to his superiors, and explained what they had observed, and what the Commander had ordered them to do. The base General was alerted and he immediately made plans and preparations to send out reinforcements. Denzel said he would ride back out with them since he could show them the last location that they saw the rebels. Faith gave her cell phone to the General so that they could await any text messages that may come in from the Commander. Denzel also offered to escort Faith back to her hotel room. Faith said, no. She wanted to make sure she was right there as soon as any word came back. Denzel told Faith she was welcomed to wait in his barracks room if she wanted, and that she should try to get some rest. He escorted Faith back to his room, which he shared with his brother, Sidney. Sidney was the Commander's Sharpshooter who stayed behind with the Commander and Darryl. Denzel wanted to get back to being by Sidney's side. While he walked Faith to his room and thought about his brother he whispered to himself, "Emmanuel".
Faith overheard him and asked, "what did you just say Denzel?"
"I said, Emmanuel, "God is with us. It's something my brother Sidney would say whenever we went out on a mission together."
"Funny that was my name, before I was adopted that is. It is my middle name now, but not many people know that." "That's a good name to have, Faith Emmanuel, how
could you not believe in God with a name like that?"
"I didn't know Sidney was your brother." It made sense
to Faith now, their mother named them both after famous black actors Sidney for the older brother and Denzel for the younger one. Faith felt a little embarrassed about how little she knew about these men she had spent time with over the years, compared to how much they knew about her. For the first time she realized that these men that seemed so rough and sometimes uncaring to her, were real people, with real feelings and family.
All this time she had taken their courage and kindness towards her for granted.
When they got inside Denzel's room, he said, "it's not much, but the bed is soft and clean, and there's a soft rug in front of that cross if you decide you want to take my advice and kneel down and pray."
"Denzel, the last time I prayed I was so little I barely remember. I remember I was with my big sisters the last time I prayed. They really did all the talking. I was too young to recite by memory the prayers our Nana taught us. I don't even know how to pray or what to say to God anymore."
"Christians believe it's really simple you just have to ask Jesus to help you and speak from your heart. He will help you to know what you need to pray for most of all, and then just ask God." As Denzel was getting ready to leave, Faith touched his hand. "Thank you, and you take care of yourself Denzel."
When he closed the door behind him, Faith looked around the small room. There were two beds, two small writing tables, and the little worn rug Denzel had mentioned. Next to the rug there was a small table with a bible on it and a cross with the depiction of Jesus on it that hung above the rug. Faith got up off the bed and walked over to the rug. She looked at the cross and then she fell to her knees, and started sobbing again. She was so worried about Darryl, about the children, even about Sidney and Denzel. It seemed like she had lost almost everyone she loved one way or another in her past. She didn't want to think the worse but she was use to the worse happening. For a long time Faith just stayed there on her knees crying with her face in her hands. And then she finally looked up. She looked up at the cross, and she said, "Please save them God, even me, save me.... I want to know you like Darryl does, and have faith in you like he does. I do still remember you. I mean I remember what Nana told me about you. What I need most from you God, what I ask you to give me is... Darryl and the Children back safe, and I need faith, it's what I'm most lacking in, and I need it more than anything right now. I need faith in you, faith that you will make everything alright." She felt exhausted from worrying. She thought to herself that she could not remember crying so much since she was a little child. Then she laid her head down on the rug, and tucked in her knees. Before she knew it she dosed off, laying right there on Denzel's little prayer rug in the fetal position.
When she awoken she didn't have any idea how long she had been asleep. She quickly threw some water on her face and went running out the room to see if there had been any word yet from Darryl and the Commander. Faith realized the sun was now up. She couldn't believe she had slept for so long that it was now day time. She asked one of the officers she saw, what time it was? He said that it was almost 6:30am. Then Faith realized she had been asleep over eight hours. She thought to herself, of all times for her body to finally decide to get a good night's sleep. Then she thought to herself, if it was daylight, then Darryl and the other men no longer had the cover of the night to help hide them. Faith asked the officer, had they heard anything from the men that stayed back yet. He told her he thought they had and then he escorted her to the General's office. Once they were in the General's office he left Faith in the reception room, and he informed the General that the American woman was waiting to speak to him. Faith was waiting impatiently. She felt disgusted in herself for falling asleep, when so much was at stake for Darryl, how could she fall asleep like that. Then the General walked in and touched Faith on the shoulder. "I hope you were able to get some rest Ma'am. We did not want to disturb you, until we had better news."
Faith felt her heart drop. "Better news? What have you found out Sir?"
Then the General proceeded to update Faith on the situation. "Your fiancé and our Commander texted us with the rebels location, hours ago. I sent out my troops to the location and had them leave your cell phone back here with me. They just text me and stated that they arrived at the location the Commander gave us just moments ago. They came upon the other cell phone that the Commander had, in the woods while doing recon. They have observed the rebel's camp site, and it was abandoned. Unfortunately, they did not see any children or women left behind." Then the Commander took a deliberate and deep breath and paused for a moment before he continued briefing Faith. "They also observed that our Commander is hanging from a tree, and he is dead."
Faith only had one thought, and she blurted her thoughts out loud. "What about Darryl, did they see Darryl?"
"No, I'm sorry there was no one else there. As soon as we know anything further I assure you I will tell you right away. Until then feel free to get some coffee from the command room. You can wait there or go back to the barracks room, or we can even have a driver take you back to your hotel. If you rather go back to your hotel we will send you updates as soon as we hear anything."
It was obvious to Faith that the General was trying to be as polite as possible but that he really didn't want her hanging around. But she didn't care. She told the General that she would rather wait right there. The General didn't object. He may not have wanted Faith around but he was not a man without compassion. He asked Faith to follow him to his command room where they kept the coffee. When the two of them entered the command room the men inside got quiet and they quickly looked away and tried not to make eye contact with Faith. She felt as if they all pitied her, as if they all considered her a widow, before she was even a bride.
She knew in her heart that Darryl was not dead, if he was she would "feel" it. Then she whispered to herself, and this time with conviction, "Faith, is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. I believe they are alright, even if it appears to be impossible, I believe it." By saying it out loud, she decided she was making a commitment that she would choose to believe, choose to hold on to hope, and to keep the faith. Now all she could do was wait and pray, there was nothing else she could do. She had to accept that this was out of her control. So she sat down and she did not shed anymore tears. She told herself she would believe. She would have faith. She wouldn't listen to the doubts that tried to fill her mind anymore. She would pray them away. As she sat and waited she started talking to God quietly in her head.
"God I do believe you will answer my prayers. I know you must be thinking, who does she think she is to ask me for so much when she hasn't even given me a second thought in years.
I know I am not worthy, but Darryl is, and the children are worthy God. While Faith had her eyes closed in silent prayer, one of the General's men brought her a cup of coffee and he whispered to her,
"his yoke is easy and his burden is light. So cast all your cares upon him, for he cares about you."
Faith was a little startled by the sudden whisper in her ear that happened to answer her silent pleas. At that moment she no longer saw life as a series of random coincidences, but felt that God was sending messages to her from everywhere, and from everyone, all she had to do was just sit quietly and listen. That stranger's reassurances in that instance made her faith in God strengthen, tenfold. She opened her eyes and saw an old Gunny Sergeant. He had been standing in front of her with her cup of coffee and he winked at her, with a warm, reassuring smile. She thought if she didn't open up her eyes she would have swore it was God's voice speaking to her directly. She took the cup of coffee from the seasoned Sergeant, with the kind face. "Thank you for the coffee and the comforting words Sergeant."
"No problem, Miss."
Then Faith closed her eyes again and sipped her coffee, waiting with the confident expectation that she soon would hear some good news.