Somebody's Hero (Andy Biersack )

Bugger

*Evie*

Life was alright. My thoughts and negative feelings were finally being fought against. I had a family-my friends and my boyfriend. I finally had something good in my life, and I was desperate not to lose it.

But I still lost it. I've always been good at losing things-objects, friends, love. Nothing sticks with me but the bad.

It was 8 o'clock at night when it happened. I had been smiling at Victor from the warmth of his arms. Him. My boyfriend. Slade.

I was smiling at our friend Victor from the safety of his arms. He saw me looking and shoved me off of his lap, yelling at me. "You fucking whore you like him! You wanna shag Victor don't you you little slut."

"I-I-I no! Of course not babe! I like him as a friend, not in a romantic, sexual way like how I like you!" I pleaded with him, begging him.

It was all a blur after that, until next thing I know my shits stuffed in a bag, thrown out the door along with me. 8 pm, alone in a city full of rapists and murderers. I remember seeing blood, but I'm not sure where it came from.

And that's how I ended up here. Bloody, dazed, confused, and utterly alone. Done with it all. Done with loving, caring, living. Done with breathing. I wrote my suicide note. I had written plenty before from failed attempts, so I knew what to say.

Blah blah you'll be better off with out me blah stuff, along with the request to be cremated. No need to waste money on burying me when no one would come to the funeral or visit my grave anyways. I made art on my arms with my razor for a while. Then, I put the note down on the railing of the bridge, putting my bag on top of it to keep it from blowing away. Laying my bloody razor with it, I climbed the railing and stood up.

In the distance I hear a voice screaming at me. It's all so foggy though, so I could be tripping out. They seemed to get closer though. I take a step off and wait to feel the sensation of falling. Instead I feel a hard grip on my arm. The force of my fall being opposed by this person causes me to be jerked back, my head cracking painfully against the concrete railing. I start screaming, sobbing uncontrollably.

It's not that bad, I tell myself. I'm so disgustingly fat he probably won't even be able to pull me up. He'll probably see how gross and ugly I am and he won't even want to save me. He'll know that I don't belong in this harsh world, much better suited for the dark grim welcoming of death.

Unfortunately he doesn't, he pulls me up instead and holds me in the safety of his arms, holding me away from the delightful danger of the bridges edge.

But I want to go over the edge. I need to go over the edge. I want to be cut and split, ripped apart by the sharp rocks, I want to bleed out in the river, pulled under by the strong current. I want to roll in torturously rough currents, I want to be ripped apart from the force. I want the life to slowly leave my eyes, the last part of me with life in it. I want to see nothing but the light dancing on the surface as drown in the depths. I deserve it. I must deserve all this pain, otherwise why would I have to have gone through everything that I did.

I kick and scream, bite and scratch, punch and yell. But he holds me tight, easily keeping his hold on me. He doesn't even flinch from my hits. Losing energy, my punches get slower and weaker, until they stop altogether.

My visions going out, drifting in and out of darkness.

"I'll keep you safe" the man says, his voice deep and resonating. That's the last thing I hear before being consumed, the darkness pulling me underneath, to the depths of unconsciousness.

"I'll keep you safe"