Belief in Miracles (completed)

Chapter 11: Summer

11

Summer

I'd been staring at my computer for more than an hour, and had gotten only one page of the expected fifteen done and edited. Groaning, I leaned back in my chair, my mind toiling over the conversation that Sebastian and I had had the night before. I'd laid awake for hours afterward, picking apart every word exchanged and trying to determine their exact meaning. On his part and on mine.

If I was correct, I thought he'd admitted to being in love with me, and I with him. But that couldn't have been right. We'd known each other only a couple of days, and I didn't believe in love at first sight. I'd told Sebastian as much, and he'd agreed with me. Although, he'd also tossed in a sentiment of his Christian point-of-view that meant very little to me. If my redefining of his words was accurate, he'd essentially said that God had brought us together for a purpose. At least, I thought so. Whether I gave credit to He above or not, I could agree that it seemed as though we'd been fated to meet that day.

I could have bumped into anyone on that street. I could have been there on time and Sebastian simply been another member of the group, without so much as two words passed between us. But no, it had been him that I quite literally bulldozed into. It had been him of all people in the group who shared a similar affliction with me, giving me grounds to feel as though I belonged. It had been him to ask me to coffee and help me feel more comfortable.

And it was him that I felt like I was falling in love with.

Maybe there was an inkling of truth to 'love at first sight' after all. I mean, if it was plainly obvious to my otherwise unobservant, hormonal, pre-teen niece who generally saw little over the lip of her cell phone, then maybe it was just a bad case of denial that had me disbelieving.

But could I really admit it to myself after so short a time? Sure, last night on the phone, Sebastian and I had both been a little more open than maybe either of us had planned to be. But did we both mean it? Despite my fears over it all, I knew I had meant every word I'd spoken to him. However, I struggled to trust that he'd meant every word. What if he was pondering over it at that exact moment, trying to find a calm way of telling me that he'd been wrong; that he just wanted to be friends?

I wasn't sure I could suffer the disappointment.

Blowing out a breath, I picked up my phone from where it sat on the desk, and scrolled to his name in my message bar. For several seconds, my thumb hovered over the keyboard, ready to type out a text, but in the end, I just set the phone back down and scraped my hands over my face.

"Snap the heck out of it, Summer." I growled beneath my hands, and yanked my chair closer to the desk to try and return to my work.

Whether I set my own schedule or not, I still had deadlines to keep, and my current project due date was creeping up fast. I had to have this article in before Thanksgiving, so it'd be ready to publish in the Christmas release of the home website. Thanksgiving was the following week, and I'd only finished one page of an eight-page article and four essays. I didn't see how I'd ever finish in time, yet no matter how hard I tried to focus, my mind kept zooming back to Sebastian.

Growling again, I pushed away from the desk and stood, my robe fluttering out behind me as I moved into the kitchen. After dumping my cup of cold coffee in the sink, I poured a new one and returned to the office. Rather than approaching my desk, though, I slid to my bookshelves, and sipped slowly on the coffee as my eyes scanned over the collection of novels. I had dozens of paper and hardbacks from dozens of different authors, more than half of them read to display lovingly crinkled spines. It'd been a long time since I'd just sat down to read, and I sighed heavily as I stared at my beloved books. There were just too few hours in the day to allow for both work and leisure. Except when it came to time with Sebastian, apparently.