chapter 17

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Unfortunately the song is not working but If you can I would suggest you to play the song on you phone in the background because I personally think it heightens the experience.

Song: joji-come tru slowed
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The boys were getting ready to attend the funeral  of a angel that was taken way too early from this world. They entered the room and they were overwhelmed by sadness and frustration.  The place was filled with people who couldn't believe that someone  this young and kind was gone.The five remaining boys sat in the last row. Even though they didn't had much to do with the boy laying in the coffin they felt guilty, sad, traumatized and angry.  They all knew how badly changbin would want to be here. To say his last goodbyes to this bestfriend, seungmin.

POV changbin

"Mom please tell me are my friends ok? I promise you if you tell me this one thing I will go to grandma. I swear. Please..."

"Oh honey...
I read in the newspaper that one boy got killed. They didn't say his name but apparently he got shot... I'm sorry."

"MOM can-can you please call seungmin parents and ask if he is ok??"

"Honey... I don't know-"

"PLEASE MOM"

"Ok wait I will be right back."

Please god, no, please  he-he can't be dead right nooo... right?

....

"He is ok right, mom. I was overreacting, right?"

"I don't know how to tell you this but.... he-he was the the unfortunate one. I'm sorry sweety."  I-I couldn't comprehend what I just heard.

"Mom, can I have some time to myself, please?"

"Yeah, sure. If you need anything just ring the bell. I will be outside" I  only heard the door shut in background because I was already lost in the memories I had with seungmin.

Seungmin was the best friend ever. And I'm sorry I couldn't protect him... I will always hate myself for that.....

I remember on the first day of kindergarten seungmin was the only one to play with me. I was in a corner scared because I didnt want to be  there and he can to me and played me with that was the first day of our friendship. I will always remember  that day.
Or the day where he helped me pick a dress for my first date.. or the day where we both embarrassed ourselves in PE class because we both were bad in sports and the teacher asked us to demonstrate something in front of everyone OR- I- I can't. This can't be true. Fuck you. Fuck everyone. Why-
Tears were running down my cheeks and my nose was running this was the worst day if my life. Why didn't they kill me?? I DON'T DESERVE  TO BE ALIVE. I DIDN'T DESERVE HIS FRIENDSHIP. HE- he would have been better off without me. I'm the one to blame.
          
                                           I hate myself.

-Mira

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