Chasing Hurricane (PlayboySeries#2)

Chapter 9

Day 16 of Community Quarantine for the 2019 Corona Virus Disease Pandemic. Let us all unite as we pray for the recovery of the victims of the tragedies that has been happening and for those of our frontliners who are risking their lives everyday. The least thing we can do to help is to break the chain of this pandemic by staying in our homes and follow the rules given by our government and health organizations. God bless, everyone! 🙏🏻 #04/02/ 20

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Smile

Most people think that some things are base on someones' luck while some thinks it simply base on your fate. But on my part, I firmly believe that things happen because it was our choice. The things that happen serves as the consequences of the choice that we made.

Hence, the harsh reality of life is the irony of everything. And sometimes it is hard to accept the irony of life. There will be times whereas we gain courage in the midst of fear, loneliness after happiness, strength because of pain and long-term lessons in every mistake.

The experiences that brought fear of facing the same thing and those we fear to remember in the midst of forgetting. It was through those experiences that we had that molds us who we are on our present.

"Airess Zhail, huwag nalang muna." I heared the voice say.

"This is different. Baka magkagulo lang. Please. Not this time. Not now." I wanted to roll my eyes hearing that.

"Don't you trust me? I can do this."

"I promise." I said with conviction.

"Bakit mo siya iniwan?!" a violent voice, screamed. I swallowed hard that bile in my throat as I felt that unexplainable horror in my system upon realizing what I've done.

"You promised me! You promised! You said you'll protect each other!" it was as if the whole world broke into pieces as I listen to that agonizing voice, shouting with full of pain and betrayal. 

And here I am. Feeling nothing as tears kept on dropping like a heavy rain.

"You failed. Always. Always a failure." closing my eyes, those words was like a thousand katanas, slowly and surely stabbing me deep and hard.

"No amount of forgiveness can ever be worthy for you."

A failure...

"Click." I got back from reality when someone just pop-out from nowhere and said that. Hindi ko man pinahalata nang lingunin ko ang taong iyon ay nagpasalamat ako sa pagpapabalik sa akin sa realiyad sa panandaliang bangungot na iyon.

I swallowed that invisible bile in my throat as I was tried to stare with no emotion to be seen in my eyes.

"My eyes already captures your image. You will always be in my memory from now on." Von Khenry Montejar said, still with that wide smile plastered on his face.

I was hard-raised to be tough anf brave, to make my trusted comrades rely on me rather that relying on them. Raised to show no emotions or rather, raised to have no emotions, because emotions is an equal to ones weakness. And we were taught to have no weakness, no pain and to only show mercy to those who truly deserved it.

But regardless how much we we were raised to have that invisible iron-clad wall as our fences, we still can't hide the fact within our selves that we... sometimes... envy others.

And I hate it.

"And I will keep that memory." I hate how I envy those people who can just lie their life so easily, to have that smile so genuinely as if life was never tough, to laugh with no worries of what might happen a minute after, to sleep so sound at night with no anxiety of the horror of the past.