Here I Lie // ATEEZ ✔

- 23 -

A bomb waiting to explode. When the device is triggered, everything standing strong and magnificent will crumble to the ground, tearing them down to their last bits. But what if the building that it shook never had a secure foundation, only a volatile facade that's bound to evaporate into thin air one day? Humans are technically the same, he thinks, putting out a false appearance in order to gain the trust of the people around them, but when everything foul and repulsive is revealed underneath the mask they donned, they will eventually fall to pieces. Lies after lies will be unravelled, exposing their worst to the world.

That is everything his brother is, but he has lost the sense to feel poignant about it. So he only stands by the door, his heart hardened, caged and the key thrown far, never to be retrieved. Kang Yoochan, with the name that brings forth bile in his throat, moreover sharing the same blood as him, is the cause of the destruction of their family. It was what he had warned his father about, yet now he cannot go up to him to shove the 'I told you so' down his throat.

Because his father has gone away, maybe to a good place he doesn't want to talk about. He watches his father's body being rolled past him, his eyes closed but somehow his expression tells that of someone who fears what he's going to face next. His joints are stiff, as if they are about to break apart from the whole body with a snap, maybe due to rigor mortis or the formalin that flowed in his body moments before death invited him. The old man was ailing and he was admitted to the hospital, which immediately turned into his place of death. Formalin that was never supposed to be near a patient's bed was found dripping steadily into his veins, slowly fixing his body like he was destined to be a mummy. The embalming fluid was detected too late, his father departed without much fuss.

All courtesy of Kang Yoochan. The devil pretending to be an angel, fooling everyone but him - Kang Yeosang.

In a formal suit at the funeral hall he sits with his back straight against the wall, eyes empty and face dry. He rests his elbow on his right knee, watching as people come and go. He questions why he is here, while his mother had to be brought away by his relatives because she was hysterical. His family is in shambles; his father has just passed away, his mother maniacal and his brother... physically destroyed. His relatives, his father's business partners, connections, everyone that knew the dead man come to pay their respects, some not so subtle in their expressions.

His skin has not yet healed from the torturous episode; the doctor told him that the acid was very diluted that there are hopes of him returning to his old skin back, without having all the redness and itchiness. For now he doesn't know whether he should be grateful that he's still alive when he has nothing to live for anymore. He doesn't look and feel like himself. His family is practically nonexistent. The spark that he thought he felt with his colleague - Park Seonghwa - died as quickly as he did. Even now, they haven't found his body. His own boss turned out to be a liar too. The colleagues that he had decided to get close to, are all fighting their own battles. Choi Jongho's mental state is imbalanced. Kim Hongjoong's father and Song Mingi's fiancee are still missing. Even after the two were put behind bars; their ordeal has not seen the end yet.

Will it ever?

He should be mad - furious, resentful, enraged - at their captors, their torturers, but why does he feel empty? It is as if he somewhat understands why they did so, and in the end, it all points back to his older brother. They are mirroring everything they experienced years ago, and they are all unlucky to be dragged together in the plan.

"Hey," he turns to see Hongjoong and Mingi, arms lowered in front of them as if they are the ones guilty, dressed in formal suits like him. They, too, came to pay their respects to his father.

"Ah, Kim Hongjoong. Song Mingi," he acknowledges them, as he fixes his posture, quickly putting out a hand to greet them. "You didn't have to come all the way here since..." he trails off. Since your family members are still missing.