Here I Lie // ATEEZ ✔

- 19 -

Golden eyes, watching our every move
Loosing time, without the sun or moon
Shadows they can't even touch the ground
The staircase is spiraling deeper down
Here we are in the heart of the darkness

---

5 years ago

Opening his eyes to the unfamiliar surrounding makes him wish he was anywhere but here, alive or not. Maybe it would be much better if he were to be dead, because the affliction that follows after he lifts up his eyelids knows no mercy, giving him pain that he never thought was possible to be felt by someone alive. Having one tormentor should be more than enough, but the devil had the audacity to bring his two friends together with him, although one looks unwilling - afraid, even - to be involved in the predicament.

He is supposed to be the kindest out of the three; San had known him throughout their course together, even been in the same group for a project and he is always known for sticking out like a sore thumb among the three. He rarely gets involved with the group's questionable activities, and people have always asked him, what is a nice guy like you hanging out with those two misfits? He never answered them, merely giving them a smile, as if that could stop the questions people had for him.

That is why right now, as he lies down on the floor with no strength left in his body after being beaten up badly by the other two, he is only pleading the name of the one sitting idly by the side, not involved with the infliction of torture towards him: Park Seongjin, please help me. You're the only one who can stop this and bring these devils back to their right minds. The one being summoned merely stands there, looking like a statue who serves no purpose other than some wicked symbol, a reminder that San was the one who brought it upon himself.

Wooyoung had warned him about what Yoochan is capable of, but he refused to listen. He had wanted his project back, and he told himself that he would do that no matter what it takes. His 'no matter what it takes' seemed to be limited to only trying to bluff himself through, trying to put himself as a much more intimidating person that he actually is in front of Yoochan, but it backfired. It was only for a few moments, but it was enough to make him scared of his own being, refusing to believe his hands had tried to wrap themselves around the older guy's neck, crushing his windpipe and forcing the life out of him. That made him frightened, but it was less of the action and more of what he felt when he did it.

It felt so good. Reaching out my hands to wrap them around his neck, watching as his breath shortens and the veins on his face popping out as he tries to suck in the air that would keep him from dying. It wouldn't be wrong, trying to kill someone who had wronged me, wouldn it? His thoughts then were flowing freely, justifying his action as he gripped tighter. Then he snapped out of it, looked back in horror and crumbled. I had almost become like him; I thought what I did was the right one. I thought the right thing to do was to kill him. Me... who would never even hurt an ant. A timid person I am, Wooyoung had told me. So who was it at the meeting room, feeling pleasure rushing over him as he tried to suffocate him? No, no, no. That wasn't me. I'm not like them.

Yoochan's cooing resonates in his frail body: We're all crazy in this world. It's just a matter of how much you let it show.

I'm not crazy; they are. I won't let them have the pleasure of turning me-

The final blow to his spine he feels as if he could become paralyzed, earning satisfied grunts from the two, while Seongjin, much too late, pulls them away from his figure. He lies still, funnily thinking about Wooyoung and Yunho, the only two people he could probably call as his family right now. He thinks about whether they are eating well and whether they are keeping themselves warm in the weather.