|| BXB One-shot Book ||

|| Fuck My Liver. pt 5 ||

The boys spent the rest of the night together, watching movies on Netflix and drinking their tea. Slowly, the pair gravitated towards each other, and soon were snuggled up under a cozy blanket together. Riley had his head on Andre’s chest again, listening to his heart beating. It was comforting to just hear proof of Andre being alive, the steady thump-thump convincing him he was safe, loved, and cared for. He tried to stay awake and watch the movie with Andre, but his lids were heavier than he though they would be, closing and allowing him to slip into a peaceful slumber. And though his body was asleep, he could still hear the sounds of the television, feel the gentle tickle of Andre’s breath on his head.

Andre felt him doze off, unaware of his half-sleeping state. He too closed his eyes as he let out a contented sigh, and almost wanted to cry. He wished this moment wouldn’t end, and he could just hold Riley here, safe and warm, forever.

In his mind, he saw every moment of theirs. When they first met as kids, where Riley scraped his knee, but he didn’t cry. Andre had been worried, asking him if he was okay. Then Riley looked at him with tear filled eyes, and Andre felt it, right then and there. He fell in love with how his pale cheeks reddened, as did the tips of his ears and nose. He loved the unnatural coloring of his eyes, the shape of his lips.

But most importantly, him, and his soul.

From that day forward, he’d taken care of Riley best he could, and he became the person Riley turned to first when he needed to talk, needed cuddles, needed anything really. And Riley was the same for Andre. They were each others perfect piece, their “other half.”

Andre didn’t care about those “one night stands” Riley had once in a while. He knew that there were no feelings, and there was no emotional attachment. Riley’d told him that it was kind of a stress reliever of sorts, and Andre had to resist offering to be his stress reliever.

So you can imagine when a transfer student comes into school one day, and Andre watched as Riley fell in love with someone who wasn’t him. Andre had to watch as they grew closer, held each other, kissed. It hurt so badly, because he’d loved him for so much longer than this newcomer had. Was it because Andre was tall? His blue eyes? His dark skin? His muscled frame? Was it that the smaller boy was rich? That he was Japanese?

What was it? What made Andre “wrong” for Riley?

Andre couldn’t ask, because then Riley would be unhappy, and that was the only thing Andre wanted him not to be. So Andre harbored all his feelings, getting a counselor to talk to, though it didn’t feel the same. He was more and more able to have appointments, as Riley spent more and more time with this “Yuuto.”

But nothing hurt more than seeing the person Riley loved do something so utterly terrible to him. Andre was heart broken. All he’d wanted to do was soak up all of the negativity in Riley, soak up his own, then pack it all away and send it to Mars. He wanted to be happy with Riley, and for Riley to be happy with him, even if they didn’t end up being together in that way.

With all that they’ve been through, Andre couldn’t stand keeping it in anymore. It felt like the perfect moment, right now, when Riley was snuggled up against him, their favorite movie playing quietly, and their empty mugs placed close to one another in front of them.

With a deep tenderness and sincerity, he murmured,

“I love you, Riley Lait.”

Andre placed a kiss on the top of Riley’s head as Riley finally slipped into unconsciousness. Andre’s confession slid in along with him, giving him somewhat pleasant dreams, something he hasn’t had in a while.

× × × × ×

Riley could feel him, smell the intoxicating aroma coming off his skin. Their lips met, tongues tangling in a passionate kiss. Riley felt him, his nails in his back, leg strewn over his hip.

He knew this was a dream, but he didn’t want it to end.

“Yuuto,” he sighed, opening his eyes.

He could see him, see every detail in his eyes. He could see his dimple as he smiled, his golden hair a bit messy.

“Riley,” He said.

His voice was so tender, so soft…

Riley felt the tears prick his eyes. Yuuto’s face was suddenly colored with concern.

“Riley?”

It was so clear, it made his heart ache. In this lucid dream, he had never expected to hear Yuuto’s voice again after all these months. It’s like his mind had been saving it away, waiting for…. what?

He didn’t dare close his eyes as Yuuto wiped his tears softly with the pad of his thumb, closing his soft violet eyes as he placed a gentle kiss on Riley’s lips.

Riley let his eyes slide shut, moving his lips carefully against Yuuto’s. He held Yuuto’s soft form closer, knowing their time together was limited.

Even if it was fake, he wanted to cherish this moment with Yuuto.

He is everything.

“I love you,” Riley whispered against his lovers’ lips.

Riley felt the way his body tensed up, how he pulled himself away. When their lips separated with one another, it was so shocking ly painful, he thought he felt his heart stop.

Yuuto stopped, Riley opening his eyes, now scared. He messed up his own dream.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

He stared into Yuuto’s eyes, which held that same look of guilt he had that night.

“….I’m meant for someone different.” Yuuto murmured, looking down as to avoid the heartbroken look Riley was giving him.

“Yuuto,” Riley begged pathetically. His voice cracked a bit from the strain of moving up his throat tight from the arrival of tears.

Yuuto looked at Riley, tears glittering in his eyes.

“Goodbye, Riley…” He said, then closed his eyes.

His form blurred, and soon, certain things faded. The warmth of his skin, his weight on the bed beside him. Even his scent left him, Riley now alone in the bed they once shared.

Riley felt it again, the pain of being broken, and in his dream began to cry, clutching the sheets and begging Yuuto to come back.

Riley knew, though, that he was never coming back for him.