The Boy next door

Chap 18: heartfelt

Jimin leant his back against the headboard of his bed, knees hitched up as he rested his notebook on his thighs. He jotted down anything that came to his mind, inspirational words he could use for his lyrics. He had so many emotions and feelings manifesting he needed to spill them out in forms of lyrics. It helped express himself, morph his feelings into comprehensive words.

He enjoyed writing lyrics, it lifted this heavy weight pressing on his chest. It set him to ease, like all the deep rooted emotions he'd been holding were released in the form of music. He didn't like showing anyone though, they were his personal memoirs-heartfelt notes to himself. He had books filled with messily, tear stained lyrics he's made when he was sad, depressed or feeling misunderstood. As a teenager those emotions tended to hang around a lot.

But this time, this time he could write something happy. Joyful if you will because he was happy-truly happy.

They say I'm crazy it's just an obsession
I don't know what I'm saying
It's all in my mind
I should take my pills stop the delusions.
Bring back my sanity-clarity.
But if I'm insane I don't want it to end.
This is the happiest I've been
No tears to be shed.
Your my obsession x2
My one obsession.
I don't want to lose you.
I can't again.
They say I'm not right I'm ill inside.
Claim I'll be fine when I get help.
Commit me.
They won't to rid me of my hope.
Turn me into a joke.
I'm not insane this is not my omission.
Call it what you like if it helps you sleep at night.
You're my obsession x 2
my one obsession.
I can't lose you.
Not again.
I won't ever forget you, pretend I never meet you.
I won't leave you I need you.
I Love you.

Jimin smiles to himself, it was rough to say the least but he felt content. This in itself was a confession, what he wished he had the courage to say but knew he never would. Pouring out your heart and soul wasn't something he was comfortable with. Being so vulnerable made him feel sick.

As he goes to write some more a knock at his door sounds, he glances up to see Caleb wondering in with what appeared to be a nervous expression.

"Caleb?" Jimin tilts his head at him, sensing something was up when he carefully closes his door and stands fidgety in front of him.

"Can I ask you something?" His voice came out timid, for the first time Caleb sounded shy.

"Of course! Anything Cabe." He watched as Caleb sucks in a heavy breath, holding his hands to stop them from trembling.

"How did you know that you were gay?" It was a blunt and forced question catching Jimin of guard.

"What?" He blinks at him, trying to figure out if he heard him correctly.

Caleb almost wines, not wanting to have to repeat himself. It was hard enough to pluck up the courage to ask in the first place.

"I mean, what made you realise you liked boys?" He asked again, this time Jimin was certain he heard him correctly.

"Caleb, do you like someone that's a guy?" Jimin gently spoke, staring at his nervous brother.

Caleb glances down seemingly embarrassed, it wasn't something he's ever talked to anyone about. He was still young, still learning about sexuality and what he liked.

"I don't know-it's weird. I'm really confused." Caleb scratches his head, scrunching his nose.

Jimin looks to him fondly, he shuffles in his bed, patting the free space beside him. Caleb waffles over, crawling to lay next to him while Jimin looped his arm around him.