the thirteenth doctor & you

you're not broken.

BITCH I LIVE.
i am so sorry for being so incredibly inactive. life got in the way, then i got hooked with star wars and that just overtook my entire existence.

-x-

you never really called yourself a full-time companion. the full-on mental and physical strain that was going around the universe and saving planets and so many different people didn't really appeal to you all that much, considering that you couldn't run long distances to save yourself anyhow. but there was always moments of weakness where you wanted to follow after the doctor and yaz and ryan and graham - just to see what it's like.

but you never wanted to leave your family, leave your small town - hell even your actual job (which one out of million you actually enjoyed. on occasions that is) and well ... really your normal everyday life. what a fucking weirdo ? is probably what your teenage self would say to you at this very moment in time. why the hell wouldn't you want to get away from this shitty life that you're living? and your answer would be ... well, you would have no idea.

maybe you just like constancy and routine. the idea of a time machine and space travel scared the shit out of you. the idea of THE DOCTOR scared the shit out of you. it had been a bug infestation, that's all you thought it had been at your work - just a lot of termites trying to bring your office building down. but well - when a short blonde dressed in rather weird clothes, for a pest inspector, showed up on your late shift ... you had a feeling that they weren't just termites.

and they weren't. but that was another story.

having three humans on board her ... TARDIS already didn't seem to deter the doctor from asking you to join them. considering you held yourself against alien termites and even though you almost beat the queen to death with a stapler, the doctor seemed rather ... interested. that had been almost a year ago and you wouldn't have changed that encounter for anything.

she had been a little miffed when you turned her down the first night. her lips pulling into a soft pout and her hands all but shoved into the pockets of her pants, but her eyes told a different story, that she understood. though, that didn't stop her from showing up a week later, almost squishing the small flower bed you have in your tiny backyard.

" did i mention that we're going to see elvis in concert. " she had started out of the blue, hanging out of the TARDIS doorway. " plus i think he'll even let us backstage. he still owes me one. " and well - how could you say no to that?

though it was a little odd recently, the doctor - or the gang hadn't shown up for more than three weeks and ... well, it was starting to make you a little worried. like something had happened. but - you reasoned with yourself, that it was probably because the doctor sucked at arriving anywhere on time. just as you had started to panic, like you had done something wrong on the last adventure - they had all appeared out of the blue last night, just for dinner. but it was strange, it felt like something was off. like the majority of the humans wanted to just ... stay in one place, wanted to go home and the doctor didn't know how to ... handle that.

so it was a day later that you were curled up by the fire with a glass of wine and the most amount of popcorn you could make without breaking the machine, aimlessly flicking through netflix, trying to see what movie you could find that wouldn't put you to sleep right away.

it wasn't long until you heard it. the most beautiful noise that you had come to love. the TARDIS. the grinding and wheezing stopped and you all but sprung off the couch - careful not to spill red wine all over the place and basically sprinted to the back door. chugging down the wine - you placed the glass on the table and ripped the doors open, almost hissing at the sudden burst of cold air.

" goddamnit. " you complained. " so freaking cold. " another mumble as you made your way outside and over to the TARDIS. raising your hand to knock on the dark blue doors, they opened rather harshly. almost stumbling backward, you crossed your arms over your chest. " hey, i haven't seen you since last night. is everything alright? " the doctor never came this late at night.

blonde hair didn't seem as straight. her eyes didn't exactly look like they held the light they had weeks ago. that's when you noticed that the other three weren't anywhere to be seen. your mouth opened and you were about to ask where they were but the doctor beat you to it.

" do you think i'm broken? " you flinched. well - that was an odd question. even knowing her for only a year, this was unusual. so you shook your head and a frown settled on your brow.

" no. why ? why would you ask that ? " you didn't know whether to step back and give her space or force her inside her time machine, to get her to tell you everything. but your words seemed to snap her out of whatever funk she had been feeling. your frown turned into raised eyebrows, as she all but did a one-eighty.

" good. good. " she was quiet for a couple of seconds then.

" doctor are you ... " but you were cut off when a hand reached down and grabbed onto yours, pulling you inside the TARDIS.

" what do you think about visiting one of jupiter's moons in 3450? lovely shopping mall, a little on the exploding side, but we should be good. " you didn't want to ruin her good mood that she suddenly found out of nowhere, but you knew that you weren't going to let it go either.

something happened while you were away and you wanted to find out.

maybe you should become a full-time companion. if not to find out what happened, but to also make sure the doctor didn't do anything stupid.